A Horse Is A Horse, Of Course

Louisville, Kentucky: June 13, 2000 In the shadow of one of the grandest sites in the world of sport, Ron made a plea for the malnourished people of America. With the majestic spires of Churchill Downs, site of the Kentucky Derby, behind him, Ron delivered a speech to the people and for the people. "When in the course of dining," he began, "and there is not enough meat to be served, what are the poor to do? Go hungry?" "Once the fun here at the racetrack ends, and the cost of care and feeding for aging horses begins to...

This Ain't No Jambalaya!

New Orleans, Louisiana: June 5, 2000 Down in the "Big Easy", Ron found breathing the smog-filled air extremely difficult. He fought for air as noisy polluters spewed black smoke into the air and barges dumped industrial waste into the mighty Mississippi River. "Something has got to be done about this," Ron declared at a large gathering in the historic French Quarter. "I am gagging...to the max!" While presidential candidate George W. Bush vowed (in May) that he would "pave the streets of New Orleans in gold", Ron decided to best his rival. "I'm going to pave them in titanium!"...

The Sticky Kilt Issue

Scottsdale, AZ: May 19-21, 2000 Although Scottsdale calls itself "The West's Most Western Town," the city sure is prettier than the gritty West of a John Wayne movie. People have lived in the desert city for centuries. From 800-1400 A.D., Hohokam and Ronwelshen Indians farmed the area, using over 200 miles of sophisticated canals to irrigate the land. It was settled by Europeans at the turn of the 20th century and now has a population of 174,000. And there's plenty of fun things to do in the area: ski areas are to the north; the Sonoran desert is just...

2000 Ronatarian National Convention

Jersey City, NJ: April 29-30, 2000 Ron was cheered by hordes of followers at the Ronatarian National Convention where he proudly accepted his nomination as the official candidate for the Ronatarian Party by an overwhelming vote of 100%. No others even competed for the position. In fact, the Ronatarian Party was spontaneously founded on the first day of the convention, by Ron, after a pub crawl in Jersey City, New Jersey. Truly, it was fate which brought Ron into the spotlight. Who could have known that the admiration of a random group of drunken Irishmen at a common bar...

Ron's Tour Bus

A close up shot of Ron's tour bus. These are some of the people Ron picked up for his campaign while on the road. At the campaign headquarters in Jersey City, NJ. Ron stops to surf in Miami on some huge waves....