This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

Poem

Men always think that women's locker rooms
are filled with hot, naked women oiling each
other up, having sex in the hot tub and getting
into pillow fights. That's a ridiculous notion!
Why would there be pillows in a locker room?

(Jill Gallagher) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 12, 2008

Poem

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Frame a man for murder and the state
will feed him every day for 25-to-life.

(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 1, 2008

Poem

If Earth is really just a grain of sand
in the universe, I'll bet we're stuck in
God's Speedo and we're driving him nuts.

(Brad Osberg) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 23, 2008

Poem

I wonder if the clothing and shoe
factories of Southeast Asia ever
have "Take Your Parents to Work Day."

(Paul B.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 8, 2008

Poem

I wonder why Mexico makes such a big
deal about Cinco de Mayo. I mean,
who *hasn't* defeated the French?

(John "Schmitty" Schmidt) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 5, 2008

Poem

Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle is very
well named. Despite my physics professors
having explained it to me dozens of times,
I'm still not sure what it's all about.

(Paul B.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 4, 2008

Poem

Man, they are so strict at my new job.
It's constantly: "No personal calls,"
"Don't surf the Web," "Put your pants back on."
I mean, who can work in an environment like that?

(Brad Wilkerson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at April 26, 2008

Poem

The optimist says the glass is half full.
The pessimist says it is half empty.
The nurse says, "Just shut up and finish
filling the bottle so we can do your drug test."

(Paul B.) @ruminate.com

cifrb
Posted by Ron's Dentist at April 17, 2008

The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.
Barmen.

- Ted Guhl

Posted by Bittle at April 15, 2008

Poem

If I were that famed limerick guy from
Nantucket, I'd have made a lucrative career
for myself in the adult entertainment industry.
But I'd probably still do that other thing, too.

(Allen Lindsey) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at April 13, 2008

Poem

Some aspects of the Bible I find a little troubling.
For instance, if Jesus truly believed in non-violence,
why did he destroy the Death Star?

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at April 7, 2008