A weather man predicted snow
But he didn’t get it right
So the female anchor on the show
Asked to our delight
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches!
You promised me last night?"
@peculiar-poetry
In honor of World Toilet Day, Ron has composed a haiku to support DefeatDD -- an initiative combating diarrheal diseases from the global health nonprofit PATH.
When you have to go,
It's damn important to know,
You won't be in woe.
Good news: I just came into
a large amount of money.
Bad news: I'm no longer allowed
to tour the Federal Reserve Bank.
(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com
Saw an empty package of kale chips
on the ground and now I want to know
what kind of crappy hippy insists
on eating kale chips but litters?
(R.M. Weiner) @ruminate.com
I wouldn’t have paid that much
for a lap dance if I knew she was
going to do the Chicken Dance.
(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com
There was a young fellow from Ankara
Who was a terrific wankerer
Till he sowed his wild oats
With the help of a goat
But he didn't even stop to thankera.
Boris Johnson -- UK Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs
I got kicked out of my charades club
for "gratuitous" nudity. But without
disrobing and flopping, how would
anybody have guessed "Elephant Man?"
(Dan Burt) @ruminate.com
Saw a headline: "Scandal Rocks Vatican."
If the Pope really wants to appeal
to young people, he needs to
get newer bands than that.
(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com
My mother used to tell me you can't
put a price on love. Then again, she
had lousy business sense for a hooker.
(Chris MacEachen) @ruminate.com
Hey, People Magazine! Unless you're worried
about angry letters from necrophiliacs,
you can just say "Sexiest Man."
(Bill Muse) @ruminate.com
This Democratic primary is playing out like a zombie flick.
Even if you love the girl, eventually you have to admit she's the Walking Dead.
Let's put a stake through her heart before she kills again.
(Mitch Kobriger) @ruminate.com
'Twas the night before Christmas and all
through the house, not a creature was
stirring due to the carbon monoxide being
given off by the defective space heater.
(Paul B.) @ruminate.com
They shouldn't call them farts,
they should call them assertations.
(Travis Ruetenik) @ruminate.com