This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

Some of my neighbors have commented
that the creative positioning of holiday
figurines in my yard is vulgar and
sacrilegious. I, however, would like
to think the more enlightened of them
would appreciate my "pre-Nativity" display.

(Mark D. Sabien) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 17, 2013

Poem

Talk about dedication to one's craft:
The Mayor of Toronto is a foul-mouthed,
drunken crack smoker accused of sexual
harassment -- yet Justin Bieber STILL
manages to be the most hated Canadian ever.

(Brad Wilkerson) @ruminate.com

eymwu
Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 21, 2013

Poem

Life is constantly screwing with me.
The day before yesterday, it gave me
lemons. Yesterday it gave me tequila.
Then today it gave me Splenda.
WTF am I supposed to do with Splenda?

(Marco C.) @ruminate.com

sbvalrj
Posted by Ron's Dentist at October 30, 2013

Poem

I bet it pisses off the Lenape Indians when
they see how many beads drunk girls get
at Mardi Gras just for showing their tits.

(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at October 24, 2013

Poem

Question authority -- but
use enhanced interrogation
techniques only as a last resort.

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at September 19, 2013

Poem

I think the ugly chick behind me
just farted. At least that's what
I told the hot chick in front of me.

(Marco C.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at September 5, 2013

Poem

I'm having a philosophical debate
with this cute barmaid: She likes to
think of my glass as half full, and
I like to think of her as half naked.

(Wiley) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at August 6, 2013

Poem

I think there'd be a lot more Christians if Jesus
had spoken more plainly. For instance, when he said,
"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone,"
it would have been a lot easier to understand if he
had just said, "It's okay to have sex with hookers."

(Scott E. Frank) @ruminate.com

wuoey
Posted by Ron's Dentist at July 17, 2013

Poem

A friend of mine was complaining about
his nutgrass and I didn't know whether
to recommend a urologist or a landscaper.

(Dan Burt) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 7, 2013

Poem

I can't seem to narrow down the exact
point at which my delusions of grandeur
turned into delusions of adequacy.

(Marco C.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at May 9, 2013

Poem

I never liked the term "family jewels."
It implies that the rest of my kin have
a share in my testicles. They don't,
though -– I have a strict rule about that.

(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at April 17, 2013

Poem

I think the strongest argument in favor of
intelligent design is that every time you
poop, it comes out looking like poop, never
something random like a flower or a hedgehog.

(Kim Moser) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at March 25, 2013
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