Rollin' Along

Jackson, New Jersey: July 2, 2002 After riding a Six Flags Great Adventure roller coaster for two weeks, famous Ronatarians Ron and Brad are record setters - and new icons. The two New Jersey men rode the Great American Scream Machine 2,002 times, breaking Ron's 1995 record of 2,001 continuous rides. Four contestants originally sought to break the record when the contest began June 17. It was down to Ron and Brad as of June 21. Michael Tracey, a 30-year-old engineer, was disqualified for returning late from a bathroom break. He mentioned "the lack of good seat time" as...
Posted by Webmaster at July 2, 2002

Fresh Ronsicles

Bogota, Colombia: July 1, 2002 A hiker is stranded in South America's Andes mountains when a blizzard begins. He reaches into his backpack for his cell phone -- only to find his prepaid minutes are up. The American mountaineer slowly begins freezing to death, surviving for 24 hours with his only warmth coming from carefully measured dozes of brandy. Then suddenly, at above 12,500 feet, notorious Ronatarian Ron hears a familiar ring. Out of nowhere, a phone company solicitor is calling on his cell phone, asking if he would like to buy more time. "We called him to remind...
Posted by Webmaster at July 1, 2002

Hanson Wedding

Pine Mountain, Georgia: June 15, 2002 Hanson singer, keyboardist and middle child, Taylor married longtime sweetheart Natalie Anne Bryant in a small, private ceremony in Georgia on June 8th. "Our wedding was exactly how we envisioned it, romantic and intimate, and surrounded by our families and friends," the nineteen-year-old Hanson said. "Natalie and I are looking forward for to our life together." David Garza provided the musical entertainment for the wedding reception. Former Ronatarian presidential candidate Ron was the "keynote speaker" -- as the wedding program described his participation. Asked about his specific role in the wedding ceremony, Ron...
Posted by Webmaster at June 15, 2002

Czech It Out

Prague, Czech Republic: June 10, 2002 Czech voters are having to make some hard election choices -- should they support the party offering free alcohol or the one using topless women in its campaign? American Ronatarian Ron says, "Why not both?" With the Christian Democrats handing out free shots of plum brandy in the Moravian town of Valasske Mezirici during a weekend election rally, the Communist party had to quickly change its strategy for a meeting in the same town square. Soon the party had five topless women handing out campaign literature, forcing people to decide between a free...
Posted by Webmaster at June 10, 2002