Mixed Signals

December 5, 2001: Rome, NY Rome, New York -- A celebrity cameraman who got a little over-eager while filming a women's volleyball game was ejected from the arena by the referee after he appeared to zoom in on more than just the ball. Former presidential candidate Ron was asked to be a celebrity cameraman (ala the NBA on NBC) and quickly jumped at the opportunity. "I love women's athletics," Ron said in cold sweat. "So fluid...so smooth...so nice." Following complaints from the players that he was focusing on body parts that had nothing to do with volleyball, and four...
Posted by Webmaster at December 5, 2001

Reckless

December 4, 2001: Hoboken, NJ A local New Jersey celebrity has sued a Hoboken-area strip club, claiming he was injured by a "reckless" exotic dancer who kicked him in the head. Former presidential candidate Ron is seeking unspecified damages from the Bennett Motor Inn, claiming it was negligent in not posting prominent signs warning the public of the risk of sitting too close to the stage. Ron was in the club on November 27, 2001 when a female dancer swung around a pole and kicked him, fracturing his nose, according to the lawsuit filed on Wednesday in New Jersey...
Posted by Webmaster at December 4, 2001

Sexual Superpower

November 27, 2001: Wellington, New Zealand The United States remains the sexual superpower of the world with Americans making love more often and with more partners than any other nationality, according to a survey by a leading condom manufacturer. "I knew my 2000 campaign thrust would result in national victory in the [near] future!" exclaimed Ron from his former campaign headquarters in scenic northern New Jersey. Durex SSL International said Tuesday that its annual poll of 18,500 people in 28 countries showed the world was having more sex and starting earlier than ever before, and the United States was...
Posted by Webmaster at November 27, 2001

World Toilet Summit

November 19, 2001: Singapore It's something people use every day but organizers of the World Toilet Summit in Singapore hope to bring the taboo topic out of the water closet. Some 200 delegates from Asia, Europe and North America are swapping ideas on design, public education and sanitation under the theme "Our toilets: the past, the present and the future." The new World Toilet Association wants to spread the word with its Web site -- www.worldtoilet.org -- as a nerve center for researchers, designers, makers and vendors of a device that is mundane to many but an unknown luxury...
Posted by Webmaster at November 19, 2001