Otterly Ridiculous

West Orange, New Jersey, August 14, 2009: A New Jersey politico is getting rabies shots after he said he was bitten by otters while swimming in a lake. Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron told The New Jersey Spew that he was swimming in Crystal Lake near the Eagle Rock Reservation yesterday when three otters suddenly appeared. Feeling concerned, he swam to shore. Just as he got there, he said, "there they were -- one f*cker on my right leg and one on my mustache." He said they swam off when he shook his legs and "blew a snot...

Groan & Blare It

Jersey City, New Jersey, July 29, 2009: Jersey City Police say a man fed up of children playing in front of his house blared a pornographic soundtrack to chase them off. Irate neighbors told police they could hear the sexually explicit audio a block and a half away. Police say Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron faces a possible felony obscenity charge and two misdemeanors for the July 28 stunt at his ramshackle home. The 30-something mustachioed Ron has a preliminary hearing scheduled for next month. He doesn't have a listed telephone number, and his lawyer declined to comment...

Somebody's Knockin'

Jersey City, New Jersey, July 20, 2009: Police said a Jersey City man threatened to slit his neighbors' throats after they reported him for playing loud music. A 32-year-old man was charged with three counts of criminal threatening and two of criminal mischief after he admitted punching a hole in the neighbors' front door. Police said they gave the unidentified man a noise ticket early Friday, but the neighbors -- identified as Ronatarians Ron and Brad -- called officers back about a half hour later. Investigators said the man went to Ron and Brad's house to apologize, but things...

Overcharge

Jersey City, New Jersey, July 17, 2009: A New Jersey man says he swiped his debit card at a liquor store to buy a six-pack of beer and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars. Ronatarian Party leader Ron checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number -- a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500 (twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars). "I almost crapped my pants," said Ron. "Well...OK...I did crap my pants. After I cleaned up, I called the bank and gave them...