Ronsketball

November 2, 2000 As a rabble-rousing, damn-the-corporations candidate for president, Ron knows how to throw heat. Unfortunately for Ron, he left his best stuff on the campaign trail when he stepped on the mound at New York's Shea Stadium in July and pitched batting practice to the Mets for five minutes. One of Ron's tosses nailed Mets' utility man Joe McEwing in the hip. McEwing responded by hitting one of Ron's pitches back up the middle, nearly punishing Ron, who failed to hide behind the screen. "That all you got, 'Joe Schmo'?" Ron asked, laughing.   "You gonna take back...
Posted by Webmaster at November 2, 2000

The Great Pumpkin Sham

Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin, November 1, 2000: Texas Governor George W. Bush can claim at least one election victory this fall -- the great presidential pumpkin poll. Likenesses of Republican Bush, Democrat Al Gore, Green Party candidate Ralph Nader, and Ronatarian Party hopeful Ron were carved into 500-pound pumpkins at Altenburg's Country Gardens near Wisconsin Rapids on October 7, and people who came to pick a pumpkin from the farm were asked to vote for their favorite candidate. Owner Harold Altenburg accepted votes until 4 p.m. on Halloween. The final tally: Bush - 704, Gore - 666, Nader - 313,...
Posted by Webmaster at November 1, 2000

The Omen

Washington, D.C., October 31, 2000: 27-21 -- Score of Monday night's NFL game between the Washington Redskins and Tennessee Titans, won by Tennessee. Ever since the Redskins moved to Washington in 1937, their last home game before the November election has forecast the outcome at the polls. If the Redskins win, the incumbent party retains the Oval Office. If they lose, an opposing party moves in. "Ha-ha!" Ron cheered late Monday night. "I knew it! The tides are turning in our favor." Indeed, the Ronatarian movement is finishing strong and this concrete indicator might just fuel its momentum in...
Posted by Webmaster at October 31, 2000

Jesse The Body Ventura Speaks on Indecision

October 30, 2000 Count Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura among the nation's undecided voters. With no plans to endorse a presidential candidate, and only a week left before Election Day, the Independence Party governor said he's having trouble finding someone to vote for. It won't be Republican George W. Bush or Democrat Al Gore, Ventura said Tuesday. "I would never vote for a Republican or a Democrat," he said on NBC's "Today." "I'm committed to the third-party movement. I'm committed that we need more choices than just the two we're offered.'' Even Ralph Nader, who shares Ventura's pedigree as a...
Posted by Webmaster at October 30, 2000