The Colbert Report: Mustache Rides

During the June 9 episode of The Colbert Report (Comedy Central), host Stephen Colbert listed t-shirts as being the #3 threat during his "Threat Down" segment. In particular, Colbert showed the above graphic of detained alleged 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed saying: "Novelty t-shirts are in league with terrorists." We here at Ron4President.com do not feel that a t-shirt endorsing, selling, or promoting mustache rides can and should be linked with terrorism. Mustache rides are Ron's God-given right. He loves to donate them to unwed mothers, troubled girls, college co-eds, starlets, and domesticated pets. Colbert's accusation is an affront...

Hand-Jive

Trenton, New Jersey, June 6, 2008: Ronatarian Party presidential ticket Ron and Brad deserved congratulations after attempting to set a new world record, but they probably didn't want any handshakes. That's because the pair shook hands with one another Thursday for 9 1/2 hours, trying to beat a handshaking record of about nine hours set by two Germans. The Guinness Book of World Records still must confirm the feat, one that Ron and Brad felt pretty confident they had achieved. "I looked up what some of the weakest records were," Brad said. "I'm not going to break the 100-meter...

Mustached President

Dover, Delaware, May 30, 2008: In a nod to Ron's love of reenacting Civil War events, W. Reily Brown Elementary pupil Zack Windsor, 10, dressed up as Union Gen. Ulysses S. Grant on Thursday. The costume was for the school's outdoor history lesson and political awareness rally. Students dressed up as current and historical political figures and then gave talks about themselves in a historic context. Grant was elected the 18th president of the United States, and served two terms -- from March 4, 1869 to March 4, 1877. Ron is hoping to be elected president this November. When...

Hit and Ron II

Newark, New Jersey, May 19, 2008: A driver has been charged with leaving the scene of an accident with injuries after her car hit a bicyclist who was in the road waiting on an ambulance to treat him for injuries after being hit by another car. Shannon Harris of Patterson (N.J.) turned herself in to investigators Sunday night after initially leaving the scene of the accident, said Lance Cpl. Jessica Hires, a spokeswoman for the New Jersey State Police. The bike rider, who was identified as Ronatarian Party leader Ron, was in stable condition at Garden State Medical Center,...