Riding Bitch

New York, New York, May 14, 2008: A New Jersey man is suing JetBlue Airways Corporation for more than $2 million because he says a pilot made him give up his seat to a flight attendant and sit on the toilet for more than three hours on a flight from California. Ronatarian Party presidential candidate Ron of Jersey City, says in court papers the pilot told him to "go 'hang out' in the bathroom" about 90 minutes into the San Diego to New York flight because the flight attendant complained that the "jump seat" she was assigned was uncomfortable,...

Staredown

Jersey City, New Jersey, May 10, 2008: A prosecutor has dropped charges against Ron, who was arrested for staring at and making faces at a police dog. "Prosecuting a man for 'staring' at a police dog is absurd," said Ron's lawyer. "People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval. It's constitutional expression," said attorney Andrew Sepe, who represented the Ronatarian Party founder and leader. Ron was charged with cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest after a March 31 incident in Jersey City in which police were called to a market...

Black and White and Read All Over

Jersey City, New Jersey, April 30, 2008: Balloons apparently were boring. A man returning home from a campaign whistle stop tour in the Midwest found his home completely wrapped in newspaper. "As soon as the headlights hit the house it was like, 'What the [heck] happened?'" said Ronatarian Party presidential candidate Ron. "I've never seen anything like this before. I can't say I'm too happy about it either. [Expletive]" Ron and his running mate Brad returned from the Omaha airport about 9:30 p.m. Tuesday to find the unusual welcome home decorations. The pranksters were Ronatarian Party volunteers, left behind...

Eric Byrnes

From the articles below, it is obvious that 32-year-old Arizona Diamondbacks left fielder Eric James Byrnes supports Ron's 2008 presidential bid. Phoenix, Arizona, April 20, 2008: Eric Byrnes has a simple explanation for his 14-game hitting streak. "My mustache," Byrnes said. The idea came from a mustache party Byrnes attended in the offseason, when he had 10 days to grow one from the time of a dinner at the White House to the party. Rumor has it that the party was hosted by Ronatarian Party presidential candidate Ron in his New Jersey home. Byrnes figured since he could grow a...