Tankin' It

Paramus, New Jersey, April 21, 2008: A man felt the pain of the gas tank, and he wasn't even at a pump. Politician Ron's dilemma occurred Sunday afternoon in the parking lot of a pharmacy when he apparently tried to clear some gunk from around the opening of the gas tank. His finger got stuck in his gas tank's opening. "His finger went in past the knuckle and was stuck," Paramus Fire Department Capt. Nolan Locke said. "People had sprayed WD40 all over, but that didn't work." Locke said rescue workers tried several ways to free Ron without cutting...
Posted by Bittle at April 21, 2008

Ax to Grind

Jersey City, New Jersey, April 9, 2008: Two roommates thwarted a would-be robber by threatening him with a decorative ax and tearing off his mask before he fled their home, authorities said. Ronatarian Party leaders Ron and Brad were startled from sleep at about 6:30 a.m. Wednesday because of a loud noise, authorities said. Brad told police he saw a man with a handgun inside his home. The man pointed the gun at him and asked for money, authorities said. Brad told the intruder he only had a few dollars in change, which seemed to frustrate the man, police...
Posted by Bittle at April 9, 2008

Potty Mouth

Trenton, New Jersey, March 15, 2008: Talk about a potty mouth. A Jersey City man who allegedly shouted profanities at his overflowing toilet within earshot of a neighbor was cited for disorderly conduct, authorities said. Ornery presidential candidate Ron could face up to 30 days in jail and a fine of up to $200. "It doesn't make any sense. I was in my house. It's not like I was outside or drunk," Ron told The New Jersey Spew. "The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for Brad) to get the mop." Ron...
Posted by Bittle at March 15, 2008

Big Moustache on The Daily Show

Samantha Bee discusses the influence of "Moustache Guy" on the Wyoming primary election results during the March 10, 2008 broadcast of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central). If this isn't another reminder of the power of the moustache on the 2008 presidential election, I don't know what is. Oddly, the graphic includes no reference to Ron or his campaign. This must be remedied....
Posted by Bittle at March 12, 2008