Bridging the Gap

Jersey City, New Jersey, November 1, 2006: Ronatarian Party leader Ron figured a 50-foot fall was worth $20. Ron was counting his money Tuesday while walking across the Wittpenn Bridge over the Hackensack River when a $20 bill blew out of his hand and flew over the rail. He followed. And plummeted 50 feet into the river. Then he swam about 100 yards to fish the bill from the water. "I got my money back, hell yeah," Ron told The New Jersey Spew. "Twenty bucks is a lot of money when you're broke." He was fished from the water...
Posted by Bittle at November 1, 2006

Scratching and Clawing

Antigo, Wisconsin, October 27, 2006: Three-year-old Robert Moore went fishing for a stuffed replica of politician Ron and ended up trapped in a vending machine. The toddler's adventure began with a Thursday evening shopping trip with his grandmother, Fredricka Bierdemann, and three siblings. Bierdemann ended the trip by giving each child a dollar and telling them to have fun in a retailer's game room. A stuffed Ron (Ronatarian Party) in a vending machine's bin caught Robert's eye. He tried without success to fish it out with a plastic crane. "He's a character," his grandmother said. "Even though he's only...
Posted by Bittle at October 27, 2006

Elbow Room

Miami, Florida, October 18, 2006: Federal agents questioned two airline passengers Tuesday after a dispute that began when a man sprayed the person sitting next to him with perfume, authorities said. The two men, who were not arrested, were aboard an American Airlines flight from Newark, New Jersey to Miami when the confrontation took place, Miami FBI spokeswoman Judy Orihuela said. Before the flight, the older man left his assigned seat and lay down in the aisle. He also asked for a glass of water and poured it on his head, Orihuela said. The older man, an unidentified 56-year-old...
Posted by Bittle at October 18, 2006

Piggybackin'

Newry, Maine, October 12, 2006: Ron, a presidential candidate from New Jersey who trained by doing "stadiums" at a local high school while carrying a keg of beer, won the seventh annual North American Brad Carrying Championship on Saturday at Sunday River. Ron's first-place finish earned him and his running mate Brad -- no last name given -- Ron's weight in beer and five times Brad's weight in cash, or $730. They also are eligible for a $1,000 reimbursement toward a trip to the world championships in Finland next July. Ron and Brad completed the 278-yard course, which includes...
Posted by Bittle at October 12, 2006