Senate Appointment

Why not Ron for Corzine's Senate seat? By Esteban Bittlestein, December 12, 2005 Well, it took them long enough. All that speculation these past months over whom Jon Corzine would appoint to fill out his U.S. Senate term if he won the governorship and only now does Ron's name come up?!? Until a week ago, the only names being bandied about were those of losers and dorks -- specifically, three Democratic House members. Practically from the moment Corzine announced he would run, we knew Rep. Robert Menendez was interested. And hard on his heels came the stated interest of...
Posted by Bittle at December 12, 2005

Taking Out the Garbage

Jersey City, New Jersey, December 8, 2005: A man who fell asleep in a trash dumpster after a bout of heavy drinking had a lucky escape after he was tipped into the hydraulic press of a garbage truck, police said on Wednesday. The man -- identified as Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron -- was only saved from being crushed when the truck's driver stopped to urinate before continuing his round. He quickly switched off the press after he heard swearing coming from the truck's interior. "Ron admitted drinking a lot of booze the previous night and climbing into...
Posted by Bittle at December 8, 2005

Pot Head

Cozumel, Mexico, November 22, 2005: Mexicans have set up a shrine at a plant pot on the grounds of a beach resort on the Caribbean island of Cozumel after an image said to depict American politico Ron appeared on it following Hurricane Wilma a month ago, A receptionist at the Occidental Grand resort noticed the image likened to Ron's face as shaken guests emerged from a storm shelter after huddling for three days while the hurricane hurled rain and debris. Local media are calling it a miracle and draw a link between the apparition and the fact that none...
Posted by Bittle at November 22, 2005

New Jersey and You...

Trenton, New Jersey, November 17, 2005: New Jersey, long trying to overcome its reputation for mobsters, air-choking traffic, and toxic waste dumps, asked the public for a new image-boosting slogan and found some of its people share the same sardonic outlook as its detractors. The public appeal yielded almost 6,200 entries before a deadline on Monday. Though 90 percent of the submissions were sincere attempts to rescue the state's reputation, some perpetuated the image that marketers are trying to shrug off, state officials said. Among the not-so-serious entries: "New Jersey: You Got a Problem With That?," "NJ: How You...
Posted by Bittle at November 17, 2005