Buzz Kill

Jersey City, New Jersey, August 25, 2005: Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron has long complained of press criticism. But he sought to turn the tables Thursday with a new tactic -- sounding a buzzer every time reporters ask questions he deems "not constructive." To the surprise of journalists and colleagues alike, Ron raised a handheld buzzer -- which displayed an "X" sign -- from behind the podium to indicate his disapproval of some questions asked at an impromptu news conference. The button-pushing Ron sounded the alarm when a television reporter asked why the Ronatarians had failed to garner...

Melons

Ashgabat, Turkmenistan, August 24, 2005: Turkmenistan's authoritarian leader on Sunday congratulated citizens of the ex-Soviet republic on the Turkmen Melon Day he established to honor the favorite fruit of the sun-drenched Central Asian nation. The nation currently grows 500 varieties of melon, including the Czar Melon, grown to honor President Saparmurat Niyazov, and the Golden Age, meant to symbolize prosperity under the president, the Agriculture Ministry said. "Let the life of every Turkmen be as beautiful as our melons," Niyazov said in a statement. "There is nothing like that in any country of the world," the state-run Neutral Turkmenistan...

Clotheslined

Truro, England, August 18, 2005: An American man who raided bedrooms and washing lines on the remote Isles of Scilly to amass a collection of women's underwear has been banned from the islands for seven years. Mysterious world enigma N8 was sentenced Wednesday to 150 hours of community service for each of the 10 counts of theft to which he pleaded guilty last month. He was ordered to pay more than 500 pounds ($900) in costs. Judge Paul Darlow also barred N8 from visiting the Isles of Scilly, off England's southwest tip, or entering a house without invitation for...

Bad Check

Jersey City, New Jersey, August 9, 2005: New Jersey Republicans say the Ronatarians need to stop dragging their feet and return the beer money they are owed. The Ronatarians say, "No way, Jose." The latest dispute between the two political parties began in April when St. Louis-based Anheuser-Busch Co. wrote a $5,000 check intended for the New Jersey Republican Party. Instead, the envelope was addressed to the national Ronatarian Party -- based in New Jersey -- which promptly deposited the money. "We bought beer with it," said party founder and leader Ron. Katja Zastrow, Anheuser-Busch's regional director of governmental...