Fuel Dump

Newark, New Jersey, March 25, 2005: A man who lives near Newark International Airport claimed he was sprayed by fuel dumped from a jet flying low over his neighborhood. The accusation was denied by both airport and federal officials. Ron, a radical politician based in Jersey City, said he was on his "daily constitutional" Wednesday night when the alleged incident occurred. He said he heard a whooshing sound, consistent with a plane flying overhead, and then felt a mist accompanied by a strong fuel odor. "It was like someone had poured kerosene to start a fire," said Ron, who...
Posted by Bittle at March 25, 2005

Finger Food

Jersey City, New Jersey, March 24, 2005: A man's meal at a Wendy's restaurant brought a whole new meaning to the term "finger food." The man bit into a portion of a human finger while eating a bowl of chili Tuesday night at the Jersey City restaurant, Hudson County health officials said Wednesday. The man, identified as Ronatarian Party number-two man Brad, immediately spit out the finger and warned other diners to stop eating, witnesses said. "Initially he did put this object in his mouth and did bite down on it and wasn't sure exactly what it was," Hudson...
Posted by Bittle at March 24, 2005

Inflatable Mail

Jersey City, New Jersey, March 16, 2005: A blow-up sex doll sparked a bomb alert in a New Jersey post office after it started to vibrate inside a package awaiting delivery, police said Wednesday. "Workers were unsettled when it began vibrating and made strange noises," a spokesman for the Jersey City Police said. "They were worried the package might be a bomb." Officers brought the sender -- identified as Ronatarian Party #2 man Brad -- to the scene and discovered the source of alarm was an electrical device inside a life-size male sex doll. Brad told police he had...
Posted by Bittle at March 16, 2005

Be Nice, A$$hole!

Trenton, New Jersey, March 14, 2005: A kindler, gentler New Jersey? In a state where one former governor once joked that the official bird was "the middle finger," Assemblymen Jon M. Bramnick and Gordon Johnson think a few more random acts of kindness couldn't hurt. A resolution under consideration in the state Legislature is encouraging residents to join "a campaign toward civility, kindness, and respect to all." Vocal opponents such as the Jersey City-based Ronatarian Party -- a radical group led by its charismatic founder and leader Ron -- think the proposal is nothing but "worthless fluff." "Who the...
Posted by Bittle at March 14, 2005