Tax Day Deductions

St. Louis, Missouri, April 15, 2010: It's time that mustached Americans got in on the stimulus money. At least that's the proposal being pushed by tax policy professor John Yeutter and the St. Louis-based American Mustache Institute. The group dubs itself "the world's only facial hair advocacy and research organization." On the eve of the deadline to file income tax returns, the professor and the AMI are pushing for a $250 annual tax incentive for people with mustaches. The funds would be used for mustache grooming supplies. The AMI said the current system "provides a disincentive for the clean-shaven...

Locked In

Jersey City, New Jersey, April 9, 2010: Drunk in a bar and can't get out...who you gonna call? Police. That's what Ron did in Jersey City. The New Jersey Spew reported Ron called 911 Thursday and said he'd gotten drunk and passed out at Bennett's Karaoke Bar the night before, awakened, and had "a few more" -- then couldn't get out of the bar, which was closed. Officers tapped on the door Thursday afternoon to guide the Ronatarian Party founder and leader to it so he could let them in to help him. The bar owner said Ron is...

Locked In

Jersey City, New Jersey, April 9, 2010: Drunk in a bar and can't get out...who you gonna call? Police. That's what Ron did in Jersey City. The New Jersey Spew reported Ron called 911 Thursday and said he'd gotten drunk and passed out at Bennett's Karaoke Bar the night before, awakened, and had "a few more" -- then couldn't get out of the bar, which was closed. Officers tapped on the door Thursday afternoon to guide the Ronatarian Party founder and leader to it so he could let them in to help him. The bar owner said Ron is...

Green Pee

Jersey City, New Jersey, March 17, 2010: Police said two men suffered injuries after they were beaten after urinating on what they thought was an unoccupied vehicle on Wednesday morning around 11 o'clock. Police said the owner got out of the car and assaulted Ron and Brad with a golf club. Brad suffered a possible arm fracture and was transported to Our Lady of Mustached Mercy Hospital. The two Ronatarians were apparently up early with fellow St. Patrick's Day revelers. Police Sergeant Dan Dornes said urinating in public is a crime, but the two men will probably not be...