Thrill Ride

London, England, May 24, 2004: More than 80 British students threw caution and their clothes to the wind Saturday to set a world record for the number of nudes riding on a rollercoaster. The naked joy riders spent a hair-raising one minute and fifty seconds swooping around the rails of the gravity defying rollercoaster ride at a theme park south of London. A spokeswoman at the park said 81 students from 15 universities took part in the record-breaking stunt, which had never been attempted before. Two American men tried to set a similar record a few years ago when...

Greased Pig

Easton, Pennsylvania, May 18, 2004: Brad may have thought he gave police the slip when he switched motels. But when authorities found the man slathered head-to-toe in petroleum jelly, they knew they had their man. Authorities said a Motel 6 cleaning crew discovered a petroleum jelly mess on mattresses, bedding, a TV set, furniture, carpeting, and towels in Brad's room after he checked out last week. Damage was put at more than $1,000. Brad is the vice presidential candidate for the radical Ronatarian Party. Fourteen empty petroleum jelly jars and numerous pornographic magazines were fished out of the trashcan,...

Ron-away Train

Newark, New Jersey, April 26, 2004: A New Jersey man who got drunk, fell asleep on railroad tracks, and was run over by a train slept through the entire episode and escaped unharmed, local officials said on Monday. Ron, a 30-something U.S. presidential candidate, did not regain consciousness until well after paramedics arrived on the scene late on Saturday night. "He must have been very drunk to have slept through all that," said John Rose, a health official in the city of Newark. "It's a miracle he wasn't hurt." The train's driver spotted Ron on the tracks and frantically...

Ron-oceros

Jackson, New Jersey, April 22, 2004: A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at The Wild Safari (New Jersey) park when he tried to have sex with their car. The group of startled Ronatarians was at Six Flags Great Adventure to promote its "preservation agenda." Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with presidential candidate Ron's car when he stopped with three party members to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie. He was not in his famed Camaro, but in a "tricked-out" Dodge Neon he borrowed from...