Nobody Beats the Wiz

Cheyenne, Wyoming: March 3, 2004 Urinating in a bottle and tossing it alongside the road would be made illegal under a bill introduced Wednesday in the Senate. The practice, lawmakers say, has become problematic in some areas. A measure that passed introduction would classify it as littering, a misdemeanor punishable by up to nine months in prison and a $1,000 fine. "For those of us who look at the beautiful scenery of Wyoming, we should now start looking at the shoulders of our roads," said a tongue-in-cheek Sen. Bill Vasey, D-Rawlins, the bill's sponsor. "This is an infringement of...

Ron de Janeiro

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, March 2, 2004 Nudity might be all the rage at Rio de Janeiro's famous Carnival that ended last week, but an American tourist learned on Friday not to try it beside the city's landmark Christ the Savior statue. World nuisance N8 was charged with staging an "obscene act" and arrested with a group of friends who police said incited him to bare all and pose with outstretched arms underneath the 100-foot (30-meter) open-armed statue. A female prosecutor visiting the statue -- one of the city's top tourist attractions atop Corcovado mountain, which commands a breathtaking...

Masking The Humor

Newark, New Jersey, February 23, 2004 Three classes at Rutgers University's Newark campus - two of them in the past two weeks - have been interrupted by a man who flashed students and then ran. A man wearing nothing but a trench coat, a Ron mask, and tennis shoes entered a class auditorium Friday just as a criminal justice exam began, said freshman Erik Triggs. Ron is a politician based in nearby Jersey City and has declared himself a presidential candidate in the upcoming November election. He is affiliated with the Ronatarian Party, a rowdy political movement devoted to...

New Ron4President Website Launch

February 20, 2004 Today everybody's favorite website for the Ronatarian Party reopened after a complete reformat. The general public had no idea what was happening -- the site continued for over 3 months with very few updates. Many thought the Ronatarian Party had simply given up and disappeared from the political spectrum. It was even speculated by the Chinese that Ron was dead. Not bloody likely! "This is political genius," vice presidential candidate Brad told us, "They will never see us coming. All the other candidates have been going around making idiots of themselves. People pretty much hate all...

The Three Stages of Cheese

Some people do not like cheese.