Car Bar

Jersey City, New Jersey, March 4, 2010: Hudson County deputies say two bar patrons were almost hit by their own car this week when an alleged drunk driver slammed into it and knocked it through the wall into the saloon. Neither the patrons nor the driver was hurt. Authorities said the two men -- identified as local politicians Ron and Brad -- were playing pool at the Jailhouse Saloon a little before closing time Wednesday morning when Brad's Dodge Neon flew through the wall. Authorities arrested a 35-year-old man who allegedly caused the crash. Bar manager Diane Schwartz said...

Ron Denver

Jersey City, New Jersey, February 23, 2010: Police responding to a complaint of loud noise have cited a Jersey City man for "rocking out" to the music of John Denver. A policeman who responded to Ron's house last week could hear Denver's music through the door. The officer pounded on the door but Ron didn't answer. Finally the officer found out Ron's name from a neighbor and called to him, bringing the Ron to the door. When asked why he had the music so loud, Ron said he was "rocking out." The New Jersey Spew reported that the Ronatarian...

Dick Pipe

Newark, New Jersey, January 28, 2010: Doctors and nurses at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center struggled to get a man's penis out of a stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become erect. Instead, they resorted to calling in the Newark Fire Department. The fire crew turned up with a special equipment unit from the Mulberry Street station and seven firefighters to help. One fireman understatedly described the situation a "delicate operation." The firefighters used a four-and-a-half-inch industrial metal grinder to cut the pipe from around the anaesthetised man's penis. The penis was left...

Stomp The Yard

Jersey City, New Jersey, January 13, 2010: A man was released from jail on charges he threatened a neighbor who had disturbed him by stomping snow from his feet outside his own house. Police said 46-year-old John Cocktosten was released on bond Tuesday following his arrest Saturday. Officers said Cocktosten brandished a shotgun and threatened Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron who had been stomping snow from his feet around 7 a.m. Saturday. According to The New Jersey Spew, Cocktosten told police the stomping awakened someone else who was sleeping at his place. Cocktosten was charged with aggravated assault....