Own Private Hell

Norfolk, Virginia: September 29, 2003 A sudden, irresistible urge. A portable toilet. A confrontation with an angry construction worker. Now, a federal lawsuit. While out campaigning, vice presidential candidate Brad needed to go. Badly. So he dashed to the nearest portable toilet on the Virginia Beach boardwalk. Problem was, it belonged to construction workers for Weeks Marine, a company hired by the city to replenish the beach. And those workers were fed up with outsiders using the company can. They retaliated, Brad claims in a lawsuit filed this month, by driving a bulldozer or front-end loader to the toilet...
Posted by Webmaster at August 29, 2003

Cricket Spitting

New Brunswick, New Jersey: August 26, 2003 The thought of it may bug some people, but New Jersey's newest game has people spitting crickets. A few dozen people puckered up for a cricket-spitting contest at Rutgers University last week as part of 56th annual educational clinic of the New Jersey Pest Management Association. Tom Turpin, an entomology professor from Purdue University in Indiana, says he and his colleagues were looking for additions to their annual "Bug Bowl." A mention of watermelon-seed spitting evolved into a discussion of which bugs would be good for spitting. Turpin suggested the brown house...
Posted by Ron at August 26, 2003

Stool Sample

Jersey City, New Jersey: August 21, 2003 Police pulled over a man on a bar stool -- after a slow-speed pursuit on one of Jersey City's busier streets. It started Tuesday when an officer saw a man riding the motorized bar stool at 35 mph. He was being followed closely by another man in a Camaro. Both driver and rider were pulled over. They were identified as Ronatarian front men Ron (Camaro driver) and Brad (barstool operator). Ron told police he had created the motorized stool, powered by a small engine, two weeks earlier in his garage. Ron was...
Posted by Webmaster at August 21, 2003

Bacon

Albany, New York: August 19, 2003 The first thing that hit visitors was the smell -- that sizzling, hickory, greasy smell that seeps into your clothes and hangs in your hair. The pungent aroma announced to passers-by that the second annual Bacon Show was on. And if the smell didn't bring people in, maybe the man dressed in a bright pink pig costume would. Ronatarian presidential candidate Ron, a bacon artist and event organizer, simply wanted people to come in and share his love of bacon. He and fellow artists displayed photos, paintings, and exhibits glorifying the breakfast meat...
Posted by Ron at August 19, 2003