Train Flashing

Newark, New Jersey: June 4, 2003 A Bergen County woman was cited for assault, trespassing, and resisting arrest after she was discovered half-naked hanging upside down from a train ladder, police said Tuesday. Robin Bishop, 31, was taken into custody about 2:30 p.m. Monday, after an engineer on a New Jersey Transit train discovered a woman hanging from the rear of the train as it approached a bridge here. "She was wearing jeans and nothing else," Newark police Lt. Mike Whittaker told The New Jersey Spew. "She was hanging upside down, topless, from a moving train." There were two...
Posted by Webmaster at June 4, 2003

Waste Of Booze

Meyersdale, Pennsylvania: June 3, 2003 State environmental officials are considering levying fines and other penalties against whoever dumped more than 145,000 cases of stagnant rum at a western Pennsylvania farm. Thousands of cases of discontinued Captain Morgan Gold was found piled on a farm in Elk Lick Township, about 70 miles southeast of Pittsburgh near the Maryland border. "This was a significant mess," Stan Whitsel, a state Department of Environmental Protection supervisor, told The Tribune-Democrat of Johnstown in Sunday's editions. "It was a bad situation just waiting to get worse." When he found out about the attrocities and hate...
Posted by Webmaster at June 3, 2003

The Beer Test

Jersey City, New Jersey: May 29, 2003 Seeking to gauge the personality and character of new next-door neighbor Robert Lundbeck, Ronatarian Party founder Ron surreptitiously subjected him to a beer test Monday. "You can learn an awful lot about a fella by the way he drinks his beer," said Ron, a 3-year-resident of Cockstiff Road. "And based on what I've seen from Robert, he's a pretty all-right guy. ...A little light on the body hair, but decent enough." Ron, who ritualistically administers beer tests to all new male arrivals to Cockstiff Road, invited Lundbeck over to share a six-pack...
Posted by Ron at May 29, 2003

Elephants Never Forget

Hanoi, Vietnam: May 21, 2003 A drunk American tourist who ran into an elephant he didn't see standing in the street was injured when the animal picked him up and tossed him aside, an official said Monday. The man known worldwide only as N8 was rushed to a hospital after Saturday's attack, said the official of Buon Don tourist site in Daklak province, some 220 miles northeast of Ho Chi Minh City. He suffered three broken ribs and bruises on his face and body, a doctor at the hospital in Ho Chi Minh City said. N8 was among a...
Posted by Webmaster at May 21, 2003