Elephants Never Forget

Hanoi, Vietnam: May 21, 2003 A drunk American tourist who ran into an elephant he didn't see standing in the street was injured when the animal picked him up and tossed him aside, an official said Monday. The man known worldwide only as N8 was rushed to a hospital after Saturday's attack, said the official of Buon Don tourist site in Daklak province, some 220 miles northeast of Ho Chi Minh City. He suffered three broken ribs and bruises on his face and body, a doctor at the hospital in Ho Chi Minh City said. N8 was among a...

Naked Bicycles

Seattle, Washington: May 4, 2003 A New Jersey man has sued Seattle police for the right for city revelers to celebrate the arrival of spring naked and on bicycles. In Seattle, rain-soaked citizens celebrate the return of sunshine with an annual summer solstice parade featuring traditions like samba dancers, colorful floats, and -- believe it or not -- nude bicyclists. But with officials regularly hinting they may crack down on this cheeky biking trend, a national nudity advocate and third party presidential candidate has sued the police, demanding they keep their pants on while he takes his off. Although...

Air Raid Siren

Jersey City, New Jersey: April 21, 2003 A local man who used an air raid siren to stun his political opponents into submission has had it confiscated by local police. "My detractors never let me get a word in edgeways," the man identified as Ronatarian Party founder and presidential candidate Ron told police. "So I crank up the siren and let it rip for a few minutes. It works every time at the debates. Afterwards, it's real quiet again...with me in the cat-bird's seat." A police spokesman said neighbors had complained at the noise from the 220-volt device, believed...

Doggie Bags

Jersey City, New Jersey: April 9, 2003 Two men who authorities say used dog feces to settle a grudge may have stepped into something themselves. Jersey City prosecutors authorized littering charges against Ronatarian running-mates Ron and Brad. The two denied all allegations. "We didn't do nothing!" exclaimed Ron from his party headquarters. "I was home with Ron the entire time," said Brad. State police from the local post say the suspects threw 40 plastic bags filled with dog feces and toilet paper on the roadway in front of another person's house. The harassed individual was not identified. No motive...