Jersey City, New Jersey, February 27, 2017:
Jersey City Police answered a strange call from Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron early Sunday morning that has them howling at the moon. According to police reports, Ron was bitten by his roommate's dog, but thought the sharp pain was something else.
Apparently, Ron's #2 Brad asked the repeatedly failed presidential candidate to dogsit while Brad went to Key West over the weekend. While heavily intoxicated in his home (alone), Ron felt a sharp pain in his buttocks. Having forgotten that Snookums was in his room led to Ron thinking he had been shot by a firearm.
The event shook him so much that he called the Jersey City Police Department. The New Jersey Spew published the JCPD's report/opinion of the incident:
When asked to make a statement, Ron said "that damned mutt got spooked by thunder and took a piece out of my ass!"
This is not the first time the JCPD has been called to Ron's house for an odd occurrence. "Frankly, we're sick of these repeated shenanigans," said a police official who wished to remain anonymous.
Posted by Bittle at 11:14 AM
Violets are blue
Roses are red
We're doing this backwards
That's what she said!
Posted by Bittle at 11:46 AM