Ron. He's your ideal presidential candidate and he's with the Ronatarian Party. With his running mate, Brad, they are an unstoppable political force.
I figured nothing says "Thank you"
like a few nude photos. Apparently,
though, the priest who married us
would have preferred a simple card.
(Lori Petterson) @ruminate.com
Posted by Bittle at 10:26 AM
June 20, 2014:
You met a person. Let's say it was a woman. You were drunk. She looked good to go. You hooked up. She took you to her place. Things got kinky. You didn't bother to wear a condom. You woke up and slipped away before dawn. You got home. You showered. You patted yourself on the back and forgot about it after telling the story to your buddies.
Nine months later there's a phone call. "A blood test? For what!?! Who's calling? How'd you get my number? Oh, the police..."
It happened. You're a father. You have a baby. Yep...it's yours...no getting out of it. Thankfully, it's a male. But will it become the right kind of man when it matures? Here's how you lock that down: Stachifier.
The Stachifier. Buy it. Make your baby look like a strapping man -- like Ron. You owe it to your son. All sons deserve it. You're responsible in molding your boy into a man and this is the first step. Do it already.
In honor of National Limerick Day:
An old porn star named Ron from Bayside
When asked of his skills, thus replied:
'Tis not the length or the size
Nor the angle of rise
But the delight of the mustache ride
Posted by Bittle at 09:35 AM
Mustaches come in a variety of ways
Some date back to even pre-historic days
Just clinging to the lip or all over the chin
They adorn an otherwise ordinary grin!
Posted by Bittle at 11:28 AM
If they had taught abstinence back
when I was in school, I would've aced
it and screwed up the grading curve
(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com
Posted by Bittle at 01:04 PM
I am Ron, and I endorse this message.
Posted by Ron at 12:41 AM
Maybe if we made kids color inside
the lines instead of allowing this
expressionist BS, they'd be able to
park in a space when they grew up.
(R.M. Weiner) @ruminate.com
Posted by Bittle at 09:57 AM