December 31, 2011

Q: Does Ron think the Mayas accurately predicted the end of the world to come on December 21, 2012? If so, what does he plan to do about it?

A: The simple answer -- i.e. the one Brad understands -- is no. Ron does not believe the Mayas had a solid enough dialog with Itzamna, the chief deity of their religious pantheon, plus an accurate enough time-recording system to pull off a prognostication like this one.

"It's absurd," Ron once said. "Only a simpleton like Brad would believe this kind of hokum. We humans will be fine and dandy for at least another thousand years or so. F*ck the Mayas!"

So, what to do with this new (extended) perspective on life? How should we of the modern age celebrate?

Once again, Ron has your answer: "Drink!"

"You can dismiss all of the hocus pocus and celebrate the arrival of 2012. But if you want to pay tribute to the Mayas, propose a toast at midnight to the god of wine Acan. His name actually means 'belch' so be sure to let 'em rip at 12:01!"

Happy New Year!

Posted by Bittle at 04:05 PM

December 27, 2011

Poem

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime.
Get a man hammered on Jagermeister at the company
holiday party and you can talk him into eating
tropical fish from the reception room aquarium.

(Tristan Fabriani) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 11:18 PM

December 21, 2011

Poem

5> Family visit!
Mulling whether to dress up
or open a vein.

4> "Legolas" my ass!
Get back to your workstation,
stupid little elf.

3> I drum for Mistress.
My reward: "Come," she tells me.
Pa-rum-pa-pum-PUM!

2> "Reindeer games," you say?
Stop picking on Rudolph NOW,
you reindeer bullies!

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Holiday Season Haiku...

1> Maxed out my credit,
children still hated their gifts.
Shalom! Now we're Jews!

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 07:55 PM