December 31, 2011

Q: Does Ron think the Mayas accurately predicted the end of the world to come on December 21, 2012? If so, what does he plan to do about it?


A: The simple answer -- i.e. the one Brad understands -- is no. Ron does not believe the Mayas had a solid enough dialog with Itzamna, the chief deity of their religious pantheon, plus an accurate enough time-recording system to pull off a prognostication like this one.

"It's absurd," Ron once said. "Only a simpleton like Brad would believe this kind of hokum. We humans will be fine and dandy for at least another thousand years or so. F*ck the Mayas!"

So, what to do with this new (extended) perspective on life? How should we of the modern age celebrate?

Once again, Ron has your answer: "Drink!"

"You can dismiss all of the hocus pocus and celebrate the arrival of 2012. But if you want to pay tribute to the Mayas, propose a toast at midnight to the god of wine Acan. His name actually means 'belch' so be sure to let 'em rip at 12:01!"

Happy New Year!

Posted by Bittle at 04:05 PM

December 27, 2011


Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime.
Get a man hammered on Jagermeister at the company
holiday party and you can talk him into eating
tropical fish from the reception room aquarium.

(Tristan Fabriani)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 11:18 PM

December 21, 2011


5> Family visit!
Mulling whether to dress up
or open a vein.

4> "Legolas" my ass!
Get back to your workstation,
stupid little elf.

3> I drum for Mistress.
My reward: "Come," she tells me.

2> "Reindeer games," you say?
Stop picking on Rudolph NOW,
you reindeer bullies!

and's Number 1 Holiday Season Haiku...

1> Maxed out my credit,
children still hated their gifts.
Shalom! Now we're Jews!

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 07:55 PM