This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

My wife laughed when I put a stripper pole
in our bedroom. She stopped laughing, though,
when the strippers started showing up.

(Steve M.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 25, 2010

Poem

Behind every successful man is
a strong woman, except for the man
who invented that talking sex robot.

(Chuck Bonner) @ruminate.com

xwdedcn
Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 2, 2010

Poem

Next time I go back to that biker bar, I'm
bringing my friends along to help me out.
Sure, they might laugh at *one*, but I
bet those chain-swinging morons would
cower before *three* Jedi knights.

(Hugh Ringling) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 19, 2010

Poem

Ron is Home and I Think He's Drunk

Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;

Ron is home and I think he's drunk.

He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't even think
He’s shaved in two weeks,

Ron is home and boy is he drunk.

He spent most of Brad's money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest
And lost it at the track.

Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
Ron is home and I think he's...
Ron is home and boy is he...

Ron is home and he's really drunk!

Posted by Bittle at December 24, 2009

Poem

Happiness is a tired cellmate.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 13, 2009

Poem

Maybe someone can explain to me why
anyone would ever hold a poetry festival
somewhere other than Nantucket.

(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at October 4, 2009

Poem

I still think one of mankind's greatest
inventions is that little brown strip
that appears in the bottom of my underwear
to tell me when it's time to wash them.

(Michael F.) @ruminate.com

qvshd brldw
Posted by Ron's Dentist at September 3, 2009

Poem

If all the world's a stage, the USA is
the shiny vertical pole in the middle.

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at July 30, 2009

Poem

How come so many conservative Christians
insist the only method of birth control
that is 100% effective is abstinence?
I can think of one documented case where
even THAT didn't work -- and you'd
think they'd all be familiar with it.

(Chris Irby) @ruminate.com

dlfrey
Posted by Ron's Dentist at April 9, 2009

Poem

I vehemently deny accosting any
of my dental patients. I think they
just fail to see the humor in my
custom-made Ron Jeremy dildo-drill.

(Mark D. Sabien) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 17, 2009
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