This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.


Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, now
I'm just your punching bag.

(Doug Sykes) @

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 21, 2004


Shrink-to-fit jeans are a great idea
on paper. But unfortunately, my
grow-to-fit ass works faster than they do.

(Scott E. Frank) @

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 16, 2004


I have an idea for a new reality television show
called "Cannibal Island." Each week, one player
will be eaten by the others until only one is left.
The real beauty of this idea is that the cast
won't be around to do an annoying reunion show.

Steve Nathans @

Posted by Webmaster at January 4, 2004


My dog loves cats. I just wish we
could find a canine toothpaste that gets
that icky cat-stench off his breath.

Brad Simanek @

Posted by Webmaster at December 30, 2003


I bet Mafia kids get bummed when they
find out the tooth fairy doesn't take
other people's teeth. Or when they find
out there's no horse-head fairy at all.

Bill Muse @

Posted by Webmaster at December 22, 2003


Some see the glass as half empty, while others
see it as half full. I'd just like to know
who the hell drank half of my urine specimen.

(Brad Simanek)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 14, 2003


In the time it took for me to stop and smell
the roses, the S.W.A.T. team caught up to me.
Thanks for the *super* advice, Abby.

(Walter Means)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 11, 2003


The next time you curse the fact that it's
Monday, just think of it as proof that you
made it through another weekend without
killing yourself by doing something stupid.

(Phil Garding)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 3, 2003


It's always sad when you have to
disillusion a child by telling him
there is no Santa Claus. I prefer to
maintain his innocence by just telling
him that Santa can't come anymore because
he contracted severe gonorrhea and died.

(Brad Wilkerson) @

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 26, 2003


I've always felt it's my personal touch that sets
me apart from those other brown-nosing climbers
in my department. For example, during my last
performance review, I not only informed my
supervisor that his wife was a two-timing schemer,
I also showed him the photos of us to prove it.

(Brad Simanek) @

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 24, 2003


I think a really cool thing for blind people
would be talking warning signs. The drawback
would be the resulting explosion of the blind
population due to a lack of natural predators.

(Travis Gray)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 7, 2003