Brad... The Man Behind the Man

As Ron's popularity continues to grow, and his numbers in the polls show an upward rise, one question still seems to be on everyone's mind: What is a Brad? Some sort of Camaro prototype?

No, folks... While it's true that Brad is nuts, bolts, and adrenaline, he's all man... he is Ron's running mate, in fact. When Brad originally signed on as Ron's running mate, he didn't even know Ron was a presidential candidate. He simply knew he wanted to get behind Ron any way he could, whether it be running mate, or any other sort of mate. You see, Ron and Brad have a special relationship. College roommates of the highest caliber, the two innocent youths grew to be the best of friends. They studied together, worked together, and even studied together.

But there is so much more to Brad than a simple friendship with a true American hero. The son of Russian immigrants, Bradlov Papinskov was put to work in a dairy farm at the tender age of 7 to support his family as his father suffered from one of the worst cases of irritable bowel syndrome known to mankind. Surrounded by cheese and nipples, young Bradlov vowed that when he grew older he would help to make the world a better place.

Immediately following his father's miraculous recovery, Bradlov decided, for the good of the people, to leave behind his heritage and he legally took on a new Americanized name: Brad Pope. Just the sound of the name was majestic, biblical, American!

Brad held true to his promise over the next 10 years, quietly rising through the high school ranks and ensuring himself a spot at the fine institution of Lafayette College. The day he left for school was the proudest day of Mr. and Mrs. Papinskov's lives. For they had raised a fine and honorable young man. He was in fate's hands now, and fate was sure to steer him in the right direction.

It wasn't long before he met his match... another young man known simply as "Ron". Brad and Ron at first had an adversarial relationship; they both knew they wanted the same thing, to excel in all things academic, but only one could be the best. Or so they thought. As both were young men before their times, they had learned to always keep an open mind, so it did not take long for them to realize that by working together they could be stopped by nothing. Brad, never one to deny his own weaknesses, soon learned to trust Ron's amazing leadership abilities. And Ron learned that Brad was certainly a man to be trusted, a man whose work ethic was unmatched. By learning from each other, they have become exceptional individuals, but an absolutely amazing team.

So let's not forget, even though Ron is a true man of the people, it is the combination of both Ron and Brad that form the Ronatarian ticket, and will truly inspire the American public!

Viva La Ron, and Honor Thy Brad!
-Submitted by A. Shea

Posted by Webmaster at September 28, 2000