Ron's Grandfather 4 President

Apparently Ron's grandfather has been ripping off Ron's esteemed spinning campaign logo, as evidenced above. Upon hearing this news, Ron was outraged. Experts expect a resurgence of the "Ron Apple Experiments" to boost his lackluster 2012 campaign so far this year. Ron is currently drunk and plans to deal with retaliation later after he recovers from his hangover and starts his next binge....

Duffer Dog

San Martin, California, October 10, 2011: A male spectator ran onto a green shouting Tiger Woods' name and then threw a hot dog at him Sunday during the final round of the Frys.com Open in Northern California. The man was quickly subdued and Woods was not in any danger. In fact, within a minute, he had settled back over the putt he was attempting. "I looked up and the hot dog was in the air," Woods said of the incident that occurred on the seventh hole, his 16th of the day. "(The fan) wanted to be in the news....

Inflatable Ego

Jersey City, New Jersey, September 26, 2011: A man who has been repeatedly arrested for public indecency faces a new charge after an incident during the weekend. New Jersey-based politico Brad was arrested on public indecency charges after cops caught him having sex with an inflatable raft, police said. The Ronatarian Party number two man was arrested at his home in Jersey City early Sunday after he was spotted in the bizarre act in a nearby alley, the New Jersey Spew reported. The owner of the raft told Jersey City Police Officer Matt White he shouted at the suspect...

Mapped Out

Jersey City, New Jersey, August 22, 2011: Ron took a very unscientific poll of the nations and peoples of the world over the past year. He reduced the data and arrived at the conclusions shown in the map (above)....

Peeping Ron

Buffalo, New York, April 18, 2011: Buffalo, N.Y.'s storied Broadway Market saw a crowd for its third-annual Peep-eating contest, held in honor of Easter. The east side market was bustling Saturday as contestants in four age groups ate as many marshmallow chicks as they could in one minute, The Buffalo News said Saturday. The cult-classic candy is a marshmallow formed to look like a baby chicken, and covered in granulated sugar. In the adult event, 12 contestants were reduced to a three-way tie breaker. In the end, perpetual failed New Jersey-based politician Ron clinched victory. He refused to comment...