Hamster Abuse

Somerville, New Jersey: March 13, 2003: A man caught torturing hamsters he had just bought from a pet store has been sentenced to three years probation. N8 -- the enigmatic man who is wanted for odd crimes worldwide -- was also ordered Friday to undergo substance abuse and psychiatric counseling as part of the plea bargain he reached with Somerset County authorities. Somerville is located southwest of Newark between Plainfield and Raritan along Highway 22 near the Raritan River. What he is doing back in the country -- and in New Jersey -- is a mystery to authorities. In...
Posted by Webmaster at March 13, 2003

Pooper Scooper

Frankfort, Kentucky: March 11, 2003 A man who slipped on dog feces and hurt his ankle while he was shopping at a Petsmart store deserves a jury trial, the Kentucky Court of Appeals ruled Friday. The Boone Circuit Court granted Petsmart a summary judgment in September 2001, and dismissed U.S. vice presidential candidate Brad's claim that store owners were negligent in his fall. The story was kept under wraps for almost two years to protect the semi-public figure's image in the community. Brad was in Frankfort briefly in 2000 campaigning on the Ronatarian Party ticket. Brad had testified in...
Posted by Webmaster at March 11, 2003

Short Fuse

Jersey City, New Jersey: March 10, 2003 Ronatarian Party founder Ron hung his latest hunting trophy on the wall of his party's headquarters and store. (The HQ doubles as a souvenir/sandwich shop when funds are low.) Then he went to jail. The problem was the trophy was Ron's laptop computer. He shot it four times, as customers watched, after it crashed once too often. He was jailed on suspicion of felony menacing, reckless endangerment, and the prohibited use of weapons. He was later released with dropped charges by the sympathetic Jersey City Police. Reports from the precinct indicate that...
Posted by Webmaster at March 10, 2003

Toilet Art

Santa Fe, New Mexico: March 6, 2003 A new art project in Santa Fe has the southwestern city talking toilets. "The Path of the Painted Potties," a project where people try to turn toilets into works of art, is intended to educate residents about the desert town's scarce water supply, raise money for water conservation, and promote a floundering presidential campaign. Starting March 15, residents who pay $50 will receive a "sanitized and disabled potty" and then have six weeks to decorate it. The idea was actually proposed by a New Jersey man famous for outrageous actions: Ron. The...
Posted by Webmaster at March 6, 2003