Crystal Clear

Merida, Mexico, December 21, 2012: The crystal skulls have spoken: The world is not going to end. American seer Star Johnsen-Moser led a whooping, dancing, drum-beating ceremony Thursday in the heart of Mayan territory to consult several of the life-sized crystal skulls, which adherents claim were passed down by the ancient Maya. The skulls weren't the only inheritances left by the ancient civilization that have been making waves this week: The supposed end of the Maya long-count calendar on Friday has prompted a wave of doomsday speculation across the globe. "This is not the end of the world, this...

Vote Ron 2012

Jersey City, New Jersey, November 6, 2012: President Ron has a nice ring to it. Get out there and vote for Ron!...

Beaver!

Pine Plains, New York, August 13, 2012: The founder of the Ronatarian Party -- who was attacked by a rabid beaver while swimming in the Delaware River -- is recovering. The somewhat-charismatic leader of the radical political party was on a wilderness retreat with his top advisors to discuss his current presidential candidacy when the incident took place. The New Jersey Spew reports that Ron was swimming in eastern Pennsylvania on August 10 when a beaver swam through his legs and bit him in the chest. The animal then bit him in the leg, buttocks, arm, hand, and torso...

Swingin' Dead Cat

Jersey City, New Jersey, August 6, 2012: Radical American politician Ron has found an unusual way to pay his last respects to his pet cat Bennett, who died after being hit by a car. He turned the feline into a helicopter -- or a quadrocopter to be precise -- with four rotors, each fitted to one outstretched paw. Now the dead tabby is flying around with a startled look on his face, provoking amusement and shock in equal measure. "The Bennettcopter, half cat, half machine," Ron wrote with spraypaint on a highway overpass in northern New Jersey. "Named after...

Goat Man

Salt Lake City, Utah, July 20, 2012: A man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah has wildlife officials worried he could be in danger as hunting season approaches. A.J. Douglass of the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources said Friday the person is doing nothing illegal, but he worries the so-called "goat man" is unaware of the dangers. "My very first concern is the person doesn't understand the risks," Douglass said. "Who's to say what could happen." Douglass said a man hiking Sunday along Ben Lomond peak in...