Riding High

Newark, New Jersey, July 30, 2004: Two men who were arrested for riding bikes through a Wal-Mart while wearing women's thong underwear blamed the stunt on a "triple-dog dare," authorities said. The men -- identified as the Ronatarian Party's 2004 presidential ticket Ron and Brad -- bought two pair of underwear at the store Thursday, went into a bathroom and came out wearing only the thongs, police said. Witnesses said the men rode through the aisles of the store and out to their car, a "tricked out" Dodge Neon. Police caught the men in the parking lot, and reviewed...

Kinky dBs

Jersey City, New Jersey, July 27, 2004: A New Jersey man took his female neighbor to court for noise pollution after she repeatedly kept him awake through half the night and had at least one four-hour sex session, a court spokeswoman said Monday. The plaintiff was identified as Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron. "Four hours of sex noises. What was I supposed to think? It was nothing but groaning and banging," Ron told the judge, a New Jersey Spew report said. Ron told a New Jersey court that his "hot" 25-year old neighbor Andrea G. was disturbing the...

Toilet Etiquette

Jersey City, New Jersey, July 22, 2004: Police had to forcibly separate two men in a confrontation that could be described as potty rage. The situation developed Wednesday night when a presidential candidate allegedly took too much time in a bathroom at Burger King, police said. Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron, who was in the john, and Joseph Manuel Augusto, 37, who was waiting to use it, got into an argument when Ron emerged, police said. Heated words escalated into a physical fight. The two men allegedly bumped chests, then chased each other around the restaurant with their...

Not Yo' Cheese!

Elizabeth, New Jersey, July 21, 2004: A man was arrested after a police officer saw him nude and covered with nacho cheese from a pool snack bar. Ronatarian vice presidential candidate Brad was arrested early Tuesday in the parking lot outside the community pool. An officer saw a nude man carrying a box of Frito Lay snacks and a container of nacho cheese run toward a "tricked out" Dodge Neon in the lot and stopped him. "The male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face, and slathered on his shoulders and chest," Elizabeth Police Department officer Scott...