Bad Hair Day

Jersey City, New Jersey: June 5, 2002 A Northern New Jersey man lost his case for compensation against a hair salon which he claimed made him look like Osama bin Laden when he wanted an afro hairstyle like the former TV actor Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady) used to sport on "The Brady Bunch." After the judgment was handed down, he refused to leave the Small Claims Court and had to be taken away by an ambulance following a standoff of more than an hour with court staff, the New Jersey Spew reported on Thursday. Ronatarian Party leader Ron...
Posted by Ron at June 5, 2002

Pontificate

Baku, Azerbaijan: May 28, 2002: An over-exuberant man on crutches disturbed a mass celebrated by Pope John Paul in Azerbaijan on Thursday when he clambered on to a stage and got within 10 feet of the Pontiff but was quickly led away. The mysterious man known only as "N8" -- who claimed to be a visionary and described himself in a written statement as "the Prince of the World" -- was not armed. After a few minutes of confusion and questioning by local police and Vatican officials, he was deemed harmless and was released. N8 had wanted to give...
Posted by Webmaster at May 28, 2002

Panty Raid

New York City: May 22, 2002: Cheeky thieves, dubbed the "G-string Gang" by the New York press, made off with thousands of dollars worth of racy underwear after a daylight raid on upmarket lingerie designer Belle Risque Agent Derrier (BRAD), a spokesman said on Tuesday. The midtown Manhattan headquarters of BRAD -- a favorite among celebrities such as actress/model Liz Hurley, actress Sarah Jessica Parker, and Ronatarian Ron -- was burgled over the weekend by thieves who carried off $42,000 worth of lacy bras, panties, and corsets as well as shoes and jewelry. "We were all working upstairs when...
Posted by Webmaster at May 22, 2002

Ronatarian Tour

Jersey City, New Jersey: May 8, 2002: Ron treated journalists to never-before-seen pictures of Ronatarian National Headquarters on Saturday, including one in which former vice presidential candidate Brad appears to be urinating on the door of Ron's private office. "Brad, I hope you're not doing what it looks like you're doing," Ron quipped as he narrated a slide show at the 2nd Annual Northern New Jersey Media Correspondents Association. Ron was nearly upstaged at the elegant event by heavy metal rock legend Ozzy Osbourne, who is in talks with MTV to bring his raucous, foul-mouthed family back for a...
Posted by Webmaster at May 8, 2002