Czech It Out

Prague, Czech Republic: June 10, 2002 Czech voters are having to make some hard election choices -- should they support the party offering free alcohol or the one using topless women in its campaign? American Ronatarian Ron says, "Why not both?" With the Christian Democrats handing out free shots of plum brandy in the Moravian town of Valasske Mezirici during a weekend election rally, the Communist party had to quickly change its strategy for a meeting in the same town square. Soon the party had five topless women handing out campaign literature, forcing people to decide between a free...

Bad Hair Day

Jersey City, New Jersey: June 5, 2002 A Northern New Jersey man lost his case for compensation against a hair salon which he claimed made him look like Osama bin Laden when he wanted an afro hairstyle like the former TV actor Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady) used to sport on "The Brady Bunch." After the judgment was handed down, he refused to leave the Small Claims Court and had to be taken away by an ambulance following a standoff of more than an hour with court staff, the New Jersey Spew reported on Thursday. Ronatarian Party leader Ron...

Pontificate

Baku, Azerbaijan: May 28, 2002: An over-exuberant man on crutches disturbed a mass celebrated by Pope John Paul in Azerbaijan on Thursday when he clambered on to a stage and got within 10 feet of the Pontiff but was quickly led away. The mysterious man known only as "N8" -- who claimed to be a visionary and described himself in a written statement as "the Prince of the World" -- was not armed. After a few minutes of confusion and questioning by local police and Vatican officials, he was deemed harmless and was released. N8 had wanted to give...

Panty Raid

New York City: May 22, 2002: Cheeky thieves, dubbed the "G-string Gang" by the New York press, made off with thousands of dollars worth of racy underwear after a daylight raid on upmarket lingerie designer Belle Risque Agent Derrier (BRAD), a spokesman said on Tuesday. The midtown Manhattan headquarters of BRAD -- a favorite among celebrities such as actress/model Liz Hurley, actress Sarah Jessica Parker, and Ronatarian Ron -- was burgled over the weekend by thieves who carried off $42,000 worth of lacy bras, panties, and corsets as well as shoes and jewelry. "We were all working upstairs when...