This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, now
I'm just your punching bag.

(Doug Sykes) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 21, 2004

Poem

Shrink-to-fit jeans are a great idea
on paper. But unfortunately, my
grow-to-fit ass works faster than they do.

(Scott E. Frank) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 16, 2004

Poem

I have an idea for a new reality television show
called "Cannibal Island." Each week, one player
will be eaten by the others until only one is left.
The real beauty of this idea is that the cast
won't be around to do an annoying reunion show.

Steve Nathans @ Ruminate.com

Posted by Webmaster at January 4, 2004

Poem

My dog loves cats. I just wish we
could find a canine toothpaste that gets
that icky cat-stench off his breath.

Brad Simanek @ Ruminate.com

Posted by Webmaster at December 30, 2003

Poem

I bet Mafia kids get bummed when they
find out the tooth fairy doesn't take
other people's teeth. Or when they find
out there's no horse-head fairy at all.

Bill Muse @ Ruminate.com

Posted by Webmaster at December 22, 2003

Poem

Some see the glass as half empty, while others
see it as half full. I'd just like to know
who the hell drank half of my urine specimen.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 14, 2003

Poem

In the time it took for me to stop and smell
the roses, the S.W.A.T. team caught up to me.
Thanks for the *super* advice, Abby.

(Walter Means) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 11, 2003

Poem

The next time you curse the fact that it's
Monday, just think of it as proof that you
made it through another weekend without
killing yourself by doing something stupid.

(Phil Garding) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 3, 2003

Poem

It's always sad when you have to
disillusion a child by telling him
there is no Santa Claus. I prefer to
maintain his innocence by just telling
him that Santa can't come anymore because
he contracted severe gonorrhea and died.

(Brad Wilkerson) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 26, 2003

Poem

I've always felt it's my personal touch that sets
me apart from those other brown-nosing climbers
in my department. For example, during my last
performance review, I not only informed my
supervisor that his wife was a two-timing schemer,
I also showed him the photos of us to prove it.

(Brad Simanek) @ ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 24, 2003

Poem

I think a really cool thing for blind people
would be talking warning signs. The drawback
would be the resulting explosion of the blind
population due to a lack of natural predators.

(Travis Gray) ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 7, 2003
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