This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

Poem

A good rule of thumb for choosing a neighborhood:
The ratio of bookstores to pro-wrestling training
schools should be greater than or equal to 1:1.

(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at September 27, 2010

Poem

After 40 years in an abusive relationship, I
finally found the courage to tell myself to f**k off.

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at September 13, 2010

Poem

"She"

She smiles
And I undress her with my eyes
She laughs
And I’m naked with her
She looks at me
And my heart pounds
She smiles at me
And I orgasm
I really must get out more

- Paul Curtis

Posted by Bittle at August 12, 2010

Poem

No need to classify it as a "bad" country song, my friend --
that's implied.

(Mitchell Kobriger) @topfive.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at June 23, 2010

Poem

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but when I was
a young World Cup fan, we didn't go around
making annoying buzzing noises with our vulvas.

(Kim Moser) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at June 22, 2010

Poem

I was bitten by a radioactive grandmother
and turned into Doily-Man. My costume is
disgustingly see-through and my superpower
seems to be mega-hyper sexual abstinence.

(James Knowles) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at May 31, 2010

Poem

My wife laughed when I put a stripper pole
in our bedroom. She stopped laughing, though,
when the strippers started showing up.

(Steve M.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 25, 2010

Poem

Behind every successful man is
a strong woman, except for the man
who invented that talking sex robot.

(Chuck Bonner) @ruminate.com

qkumr
Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 2, 2010

Poem

Next time I go back to that biker bar, I'm
bringing my friends along to help me out.
Sure, they might laugh at *one*, but I
bet those chain-swinging morons would
cower before *three* Jedi knights.

(Hugh Ringling) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 19, 2010

Poem

Ron is Home and I Think He's Drunk

Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;

Ron is home and I think he's drunk.

He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't even think
He’s shaved in two weeks,

Ron is home and boy is he drunk.

He spent most of Brad's money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest
And lost it at the track.

Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
Ron is home and I think he's...
Ron is home and boy is he...

Ron is home and he's really drunk!

Posted by Bittle at December 24, 2009

Poem

Happiness is a tired cellmate.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 13, 2009