Poem

Whenever people say "If you're going to
move to a new country, learn the language!"
I just stay quiet. I would say something, but
I don't know the Cherokee word for "irony."

(Carl Knorr) @ruminate.com

Poem

My wife wasn't too thrilled to open her Bible and
discover penciled-in Commandment 7a: "(However, when
thou art traveling on business, thou shalt heed the
sage advice of My musical apostle, Stephen Stills.)"

(Mark D. Sabien) @ruminate.com

Poem

This is a poem for Elvis,
Do you remember the man, who was no idler in moving his pelvis?
He rolled and he rocked,
But by his sudden death the whole world was shocked.

I think, he's a fool, I'm sorry to say,
But nobody as successful as him should die this way!
He asked "Are you lonesome tonight?"
And walked in "Kentucky Rain", oh, how we cried!

But Elvis also was the King of Rock and Roll.
He sang "Jailhouse Rock" -- just wonderful!
This is the tribute, of a young and humble fan,
I'm going to visit his grave as soon as I can!

- Marissa Conrady

Poem

That was cool, huh huh
when we killed that frog, huh huh
it won't croak again

- Butt-Head

Poem

If I ever open my own business, it'll be
a hybrid between a massage parlor and a
sperm bank. I mean, why waste the byproduct?

(Lori Petterson) @ruminate.com

Poem

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
I wouldn't, however, suggest doing the same
for those times when life gives you shit.

(Abhishek Aiyar) @ruminate.com

Poem

In the winter Phil comes out
To see a shadow or not about,
I hope we have cold weather
for the next six weeks.
It will be good for snow
To sled with rosy cheeks

- Anthony (St. John the Beloved School in Wilmington, Delaware)

At 7:25 AM EST on February 2, 2011 Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow, predicting an early spring.

The question is: Did Ron even leave the house today? Will he have seen his shadow?

Poem

A restaurant can get my business every day for
the next month by promising not to play Christmas
music over their speakers and that the staff won't
wish me a merry or happy anything or offer me any
greetings that could be considered seasonal in
nature. Also, the waitresses should be topless.

(Anthony Myers) @ ruminate.com