This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

I tend to give credence to that Bible story
in which God put man to sleep and made
woman from his rib, because if man had been
awake and able to make suggestions, women
would surely have many more breasts.

(Brad Wilkerson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at July 12, 2006

Poem

As the judge said, "Let this be a warning:
Three strikes and you're out," I was sure
glad he didn't know I had an 0-2 count when
I pummelled that stupid umpire with my bat.

(Donald Johnson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 11, 2006

Poem

I went to the doctor for a blood test and
I saw this Asian kid in the waiting room.
He was there for a blood test, too. I thought,
"Crap, I hope they're grading me on a curve."

(Brad Osberg) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 5, 2006

Poem

I always put my daughter's welfare
above my own. She's 18, so I started
dating an 18-year-old so she'd have
somebody her own age to play with.
I hope she appreciates it.

(Steve Mueller) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 29, 2006

Poem

My mother used to tell me you can't put
a price on love. Then again, she really
had a lousy business sense for a hooker.

(Chris MacEachen) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 23, 2006

Poem

Somehow "our song" just isn't as
romantic now that they're using it
in an erectile dysfunction ad.

(Jerry L. Embry) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 15, 2006

Poem

Want proof that men are more creative than women?
Women will gladly pay someone else to build them a
pair of big boobs, while men spend years crafting
their own, using nothing but beer and pizza.

(Scott E. Frank) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at June 8, 2006

Poem

"What Would Jesus Do?" may be a good philosophy
of life for some, but I find that it rarely
helps me decide how much to tip a hooker.

(Charles Gulledge) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 7, 2006

Poem

Just when I think I've finally met the
perfect woman, I discover she's too tall
to fit into any of my mom's old clothes.

(Andy Ihnatko) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 31, 2006

Poem

If loving you is wrong, then baby, it
goes a long way towards explaining the
concussion and crushed left testicle.

(Dan, the crazy Croat) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 25, 2006

Poem

Now that I'm approaching middle age, it's
nice to reflect back upon my college days
and to reminisce about all the sex that
I like to believe that I had back then.

(Miles Walker) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at May 17, 2006
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