Poem

My boss keeps saying there's no "I" in "TEAM."
I finally told him since "I" was not needed
here, he could find "M E" at the strip club
down the street checking out the "T" and "A."

(Bad Macaw) @ruminate.com

Poem

There's no way to prove this, and we'll
probably never really know, but I'd be
willing to bet that it was a guy who
first came up with the concept of porn.

(Wiley) @ruminate.com

Poem

Jesus and I have a lot in common.
We are both friendly towards prostitutes.

(Tom Sims) @ruminate.com

Poem

Whenever I think my life is as weird as
it could possibly get, I remember the
bathtub full of monkeys and power tools.
Then I realize I still have a way to go.

(Phillip Garding) @ruminate.com

Poem

They say God knows everything before it happens.
That is so awesome. I mean, I only know when
cats in my neighborhood are going to disappear.

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Poem

If you simply put crystal meth in your
cat's food and spray him with Endust once
a day, you'll never need to dust again.

(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com

Poem

On the breasts of a barmaid at Yale
Are tattooed all the prices of ale,
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Are the same, but they're written in Braille.

(innocentenglish.com)

Poem

I think the best part about my being so
paranoid is that I always know somebody cares.

(Dave Stapel) @ruminate.com

Poem

I think the best part about being reincarnated as a
dog would be not having to explain to the judge why
you chose to relieve yourself on the police cruiser.

(Dave Juurlink) @ruminate.com

Poem

When George Washington and Abraham Lincoln
posed for their portraits that ended up
on U.S. currency, do you think the
engraver urged them to "make this one
count because it's the money shot?"

(Kim Moser) @ruminate.com

Poem

Coming Unstuck

If you surf the Internet
For the obscene
You may end up, literally,
Glued to your screen

- Patrick Winstanley

Poem

"Oops!... I Did It Again" is a wonderful title
for a pop song, but a lousy response when
you're caught sleeping with your wife's sister.

(Brad Osberg) @ruminate.com