This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.


I thought about getting a bidet, but
decided it was cheaper and just as
efficient to do a handstand in the shower.

(Pamela Rice Hahn)

Posted by Bittle at April 6, 2007


As I stood in line screaming in terror
while the cashier handed me two quarters,
one dime and a nickel, I was hit with a
sad realization: I was afraid of change.

(Paul B.)

Posted by Bittle at April 2, 2007


I realized too late that when I told my
wife I may give her something exotic I
picked up on my business trip to Thailand,
she probably thought I meant a gift.


Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 30, 2007


While I was on Spring Break, a random girl
on the beach showed me her boobs. I was very
pleased with myself until I realized I could
have saved nearly $1000 by blowing off the week
in Florida and just getting a lapdance instead.

(Tim Grebos)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 28, 2007


One Man's Fish

One man's fowl
Is another man's fish
A skinny girl, that's
My ideal dish
I like them thin
And I like them lean
Because it takes a waif
To keep me keen
A skinny girl that's
My ideal treat
For the nearer the bone
The sweeter the meat

- Paul Curtis

Posted by Bittle at March 27, 2007


I still think one of mankind's greatest
inventions is that little brown strip
that appears in the bottom of my underwear
to tell me when it's time to wash them.

(Michael F.)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 22, 2007


It's never encouraging when you
ask your parents to tell you about
when you were born and they simply
reply, "Mistakes were made...."

(Brad Simanek)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 14, 2007


My mother always said, "Why buy the cow
when you can just marry a hot girl, knock her
up and get her lactating and hey, free milk!"

(Ross Brown)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 7, 2007


Word to the wise: If it involves a meat
thermometer and your rectum, it's
probably not a real teleportation device.

(Brad Simanek)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 5, 2007


If Mother's Day brings out flower-sellers on
every corner, why is no one on the curb on
Father's Day, selling porn, beer and power tools?

(Dan Weckerly)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 1, 2007