This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.


In Sympathy with the Poet Laureate

(I have never envied your task: especially now.....)
Their tenure should have ended at that final Worcester battle
But to this day we're fed a diet of endless royal prattle
And soon will come that awful time which some of us
are dreading:
The global media yawn-fest which is
Chas and Millie's wedding....
There's squabbling in the churches and across the Union Jack:
To write this one, I think you'll need to DRAIN your butt of sack!
We just need abolition, not a Cromwell-style beheading.
It's their business and theirs alone, old Chas & Millie's wedding.
It really doesn't matter who is sitting on the throne:
They're all as dull as dishwater and should be left alone.
I don't care what their hamster's called or whom
they are a-bedding:
I want some interesting news, not Chas & Millie's wedding!
So, Andrew, if your royal task becomes too much to bear
Go to your favourite football club and write your poems there.
I'm Brighton's Poet in Residence: tonight we're home to Reading.
That's worthy of a verse or two. Not Chas & Millie's wedding!

- by Attila the Stockbroker

Posted by Bittle at March 23, 2005


I wholly support the recent tax cut. It will
stimulate the economy and result in a measurable
and important increase in the nation's GDP.
I know this because I spent mine on lap dances
and tequila shooters the same day I got it.

(Patrick Murphy)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 15, 2005


If you're ever in a classroom setting
with a woman who pulls out her breast
and starts to feed her baby, don't say,
"Did you bring enough to share with
the whole class?" Sure, it's a funny
line, but if she answers, "Yes," you're
pretty much going to have to drink it.

(Brad Wilkerson)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 10, 2005


Say what you want about that first beer,
but nothing really brings a father and son
together like dumping a dead whore down a well.

(Wes Nessmann)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at March 6, 2005


Sixteen hours after deciding to end it
all and writing the note, I realized that
my plan for a slow, but painless death of
suicide by masturbation was not working.

(Col. Klink)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 18, 2005


I loved my old job when I could hide in my
cubicle and spend the day farting around.
Instead it's just work, work, work here
at the baked bean methane-research lab.

(Brad Simanek)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 6, 2005