This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.


The convent's pretty pond of pee...

The convent's pretty pond of pee
Is calling pious little me.
I want to bathe in that sweet bin,
Fresh, fragrant with the nuns' urine.
Disrobed, and moonlit spanky nude
I mingle in the transformed food.
Yea, urinely I join that flow
Whose glory may I hope to know!
Pee, wash me of all stain,
And I will come to thee again.

(Fred Sommer) @The Coffee Shop Times

Posted by Bittle at September 21, 2005


It seems like that for every step forward
I take in my alcohol-recovery program, I
take two steps back -- then three to the
side, then about a half-dozen around in a
little circle until I fall flat on my ass.

(Tooter Day)

Posted by Bittle at September 16, 2005


Poem From a Peeping Tom

I saw her sitting in
her third floor
window reading
the poems I sent

she leafed through
them for a while
and then she went
into a tight hunch

not moving for
several minutes
as I waited below
in the bushes

thinking soon she might
toss a sigh or maybe
a sob of recognition

but all I heard was sirens
of twin patrol cars
coming from the bowels
of a bad city.

(John Birkbeck) @The Coffee Shop Times

Posted by Bittle at September 1, 2005


Sometimes I wonder if God is really
watching over us, or if I'm going to
have to score that crack on my own.

(Scotty G.)

Posted by Bittle at August 25, 2005


My luge runs might not be the fastest ones at
the Olympic time trials, but I do this thing
where I'm dressed like Jerry Lewis in "The Bellboy,"
see, and I'm carrying this huge pile of luggage
like I can't see that I'm about to step onto a
luge run and then I trip and fall and holler
like a maniac all the way to the finish gate.
Judges notice that sort of thing.

(Andy Ihnatko)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at August 23, 2005


Instead of committing random acts of kindness
this holiday season, I'm going to commit random
acts of drunken debauchery. Sure, it might not
have the same socially redeeming value, but
it'll be a lot more fun than another afternoon
serving cookies at the retirement home.


Posted by Bittle at August 16, 2005


Kids today have it too easy. Back in
my day, we actually had to get on
our hands and knees and crawl under
a desk to see a girl's underwear.

(Mystic 7)

Posted by Ron's Dentist at August 7, 2005


If I were to succumb to the dark side
of the Force, I wouldn't bother trying
to rule the entire galaxy or anything
like that. I'd be perfectly content using
it just to get laid once in awhile.

(Gus Harris)

Posted by Bittle at July 29, 2005