This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

I have friends who seem to have it all:
A wonderful spouse, good kids, college
education, nice car, house, spiritual maturity,
high morals, etc. Sometimes I find myself
thinking, "Why can't I have a nice car, too?"

(E. Smith) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 9, 2005

Poem

I realize drinking isn't the answer
to all of life's problems, but it
sure does a great job at solving
that "unattractive sex partner" one.

(Chester Ingraham) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 1, 2005

Poem

Now that I'm a dad, I love playing silly games
with my daughter. Like "I spy, with my little eye...
something I want you to slip into your Britney
Spears backpack while I distract the clerk."

(Brad Osberg) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at November 28, 2005

Poem

As I look back at all the times I've gotten
together with old friends, it's worth noting
that not once has any of us ever said,
"Dude, you remember that time you stayed SO
sober and you did TOTALLY rational stuff?"

(Carl Knorr) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 15, 2005

Poem

I don't believe in organized religion, so I
joined a disorganized religion. Last Sunday,
the preacher overslept and arrived thirty
minutes late with no sermon, and then the
Ladies' Auxiliary lost the names of people
volunteering for next week's bake sale.

(Chris Lipe) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at November 10, 2005

Poem

Okay, so maybe there's no place like home,
but I would think 107 Couch Potato Lane in
Bigscreenville isn't a bad second place to be.
Especially in apartment 44DD on the 69th floor.

(Ted Jasmin) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at October 31, 2005

Poem

Sometimes women send mixed signals. For example,
if you read every 11th letter in the restraining
order my girlfriend faxed me, it clearly spells
i-l-o-v-e-y-o-u, and then mostly gibberish, but
then p-u-s-b-a-g, which I presume is her new
pet name for me. She so wants me, the coy minx.

(Bill Muse) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at October 21, 2005

Poem

I recently read there are some 400 million
porno pages on the Web. Just my luck -- I keep
hitting the same 350 million over and over.

(Chris MacEachen) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at October 12, 2005

Poem

If there really is a pole at the
North Pole, I bet there's some dead
explorer guy with his tongue stuck to it.

(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at October 3, 2005

Poem

Word to the wise:
While skiing, always carry Viagra.
That may be the only way they'll be
able spot you after an avalanche.

(John Dockery) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at September 28, 2005
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