Maybe someone can explain to me why
anyone would ever hold a poetry festival
somewhere other than Nantucket.
(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com
I still think one of mankind's greatest
inventions is that little brown strip
that appears in the bottom of my underwear
to tell me when it's time to wash them.
(Michael F.) @ruminate.com
If all the world's a stage, the USA is
the shiny vertical pole in the middle.
(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com
How come so many conservative Christians
insist the only method of birth control
that is 100% effective is abstinence?
I can think of one documented case where
even THAT didn't work -- and you'd
think they'd all be familiar with it.
(Chris Irby) @ruminate.com
I vehemently deny accosting any
of my dental patients. I think they
just fail to see the humor in my
custom-made Ron Jeremy dildo-drill.
(Mark D. Sabien) @ruminate.com
Sometimes I think, "Wouldn't it be nice if the
whole world could just live together in peace?"
But then I think, "Well, that really wouldn't
be fair to professional wrestlers, would it?"
(Lev Spiro) @ruminate.com
I keep telling my wife: "It's NOT
cheating on you with your sister,
it's making love to you by proxy."
Some women just don't understand.
(Todd Loushine) @ruminate.com
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- P. J. O'Rourke
There's no "I" in "team" -- at least not
since I got kicked off the team for drinking.
(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com