This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

I am a servant of Entropy
Because if you can't beat it, you might as well join it,
And where I walk, the sidewalks crumble,
And if I touch your TV set it'll break,
And when I go out camping there's a forest fire,
And if I embrace you, you will die,
Because I am a servant of Entropy,
And you can't beat it, so you might as well join it.

(Tom Swiss) @infamous.net

Posted by Bittle at February 26, 2007

Poem

I'm not laughing at you -- I'm laughing
with my friends who are laughing at you.

(Mark Stubbs) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at February 20, 2007

Poem

If men have a funny way of looking
at life, maybe it's because
we always view it through
the periscope in our pants.

(Michael Cunningham) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 16, 2007

Poem

Catch a falling star and put it in your
pocket. Then tell it that unless you
get a cool half-mil, you'll sell to the
highest tabloid bidder those embarrassing
photos of it puking naked in the alley.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at February 15, 2007

Poem

When my parents come to visit, I force them
to smoke pot and do straight shots of whiskey.
Hey, when you're in MY house, you live by MY rules.

(Stephanie Thompson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 9, 2007

Poem

As I was lying in bed that night, I got to
thinking, "What would Jesus do?" That didn't
prove much help, so I got a bit more specific:
"What would Jesus do with a dead hooker's body?"

(Brian Tobin) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at February 6, 2007

Poem

When I got my kids back from foster care
dressed as a gay biker, a cowboy and a cop,
it occurred to me that maybe it really does
take the Village People to raise a child.

(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at February 5, 2007

Poem

Sure, Hugh Hefner may get laid a lot more than
I do, but I figure I watch much more TV than
he does, so I guess it all evens out in the end.

(Chris MacEachen) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at January 24, 2007

Poem

Gerald Ford was a former member of the
Warren Commission, so I can understand
why the Castro/Chicago Mafia/C.I.A. shadow
government bumped him off. I just can't
understand why they took out James Brown.

(Chuck Sawyer) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at January 21, 2007

Poem

As a professional escape artist, I thought my
date would be impressed by my ability to avoid
paying the dinner check, but she threw a fit.
Had she been more appreciative, I'd have stuck
around to help her get out of the police car.

(Donald Junter) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at January 18, 2007
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