Poem

I hate winter. By the time spring
arrives, my nipples have worn holes
through all my favorite shirts.

(Brad Osberg) @ruminate.com

Poem

As much as there is no "I" in team, the next
time management demands the workers do some
stupid and demeaning job, they will find that
"M & E" are down at the bar watching "T & A."

(Douglas Jeffery) @ruminate.com

Poem

I shot a man in Reno, but didn't stick around to
watch him die. That's how Johnny Cash got caught.

(Dwight Burke) @ruminate.com

Poem

The Perfect Woman: She gets a box that
says "de Beers" on it, and is disappointed
to find it only has diamonds in it.

(Travis Ruetenik) @ruminate.com

Poem

If I were Superman, I think I'd just fight
for truth, justice and the Canadian way.
That seems easier. All I'd ever have to do
is break up an occasional hockey fight, and
make sure criminals say everything twice.
Once in English, and then again in French.

(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com

Poem

I was bitten by a radioactive grandmother
and turned into Doily-Man. My costume is
disgustingly see-through and my superpower
seems to be mega-hyper sexual abstinence.

(James Knowles) @ruminate.com

Poem

Some people have preconceived ideas about
ex-con addict/alcoholics with no job, but
let me tell you: It also has its dark side.

(Jerry L. Embry) @ruminate.com

Poem

It's sad to think that kids of today's generation
probably have no idea that Prince used to be
known as "the artist formerly known as Prince."

(Kim Moser) @ruminate.com

Poem

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime.
Get a man hammered on Jagermeister at the company
holiday party and you can talk him into eating
tropical fish from the reception room aquarium.

(Tristan Fabriani) @ruminate.com

Poem

5> Family visit!
Mulling whether to dress up
or open a vein.

4> "Legolas" my ass!
Get back to your workstation,
stupid little elf.

3> I drum for Mistress.
My reward: "Come," she tells me.
Pa-rum-pa-pum-PUM!

2> "Reindeer games," you say?
Stop picking on Rudolph NOW,
you reindeer bullies!

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Holiday Season Haiku...

1> Maxed out my credit,
children still hated their gifts.
Shalom! Now we're Jews!

Poem

You won't find the answers to life's
problems at the bottom of a bottle. You
get to them through the opening at the top.

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com