This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you before you
let it go, it probably found a time
machine and has returned from the
future to wreak horrible vengeance.

(Paul B.) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 28, 2006

Poem

A man doesn't realize what evil he's
capable of rendering with his bare hands
until he reaches day six of "The Twelve
Days of Christmas" as sung by Muppets.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 24, 2006

Poem

Just my luck -- judging by the itching and
the rash, I think I'm allergic to prostitutes.

(Wiley) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 19, 2006

Poem

As I lay in the hospital bed, clinging
to the threads of life I had left, I looked
over the faces of the many friends and
well-wishers who came by, and in that brief
moment I realized something very important: There
actually is a point at which sour cream goes bad.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at December 10, 2006

Poem

When she asked, "Is that a roll of quarters in
your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" we
both just had to laugh, because, being a peep-show
girl, it really didn't matter to her either way.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at December 8, 2006

Poem

Always keep drugs out of the reach
of children. And for maximum entertainment,
keep them just out of reach.

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at December 3, 2006

Poem

I traded in my WWJD bracelet for one
with "WWSDD" on it. Not only is the
"What Would Snoop Dogg Do?" bracelet a
lot flashier, but the answer is always
"Light up a spliff and hit the strip club."

(Brad Wilkerson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 22, 2006

Poem

I wouldn't mind going to get some of
that "instant gratification" -- but
there better not be a long line.

(Walter Means) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at November 21, 2006

Poem

I was worried when LOL led to ROFL, and I
was alarmed when that escalated to ROFLMAO.
I propose the limit should be ROFLMAOATU,
because with any activity, one should go no
further after adding "... And Throwing Up."

(Paul Totman) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at November 16, 2006

Poem

It's been said that "living well is the best
revenge," but my guess is that "sleeping with
your enemy's mom" had to be a close second.

(Andy Krakowski) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at November 13, 2006

Poem

I think Gandhi and I probably
have a lot in common. After all,
we both spent time in prison.

(Tom Sims) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at November 7, 2006
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