This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

Sure, "In space no one can hear you scream,"
but duct-taped to a locker with a jock strap
stuffed in your mouth, no one can hear you
scream either. Friggin' high-school gym class.

(Rob Bodine) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at October 12, 2004

Poem

I was reluctant to try the new cannibal
restaurant down the street, because I don't eat
a lot of meat. The waiter suggested I order the
meat and fish combination, and he was absolutely
right. The "Surf 'n' Murph" was terrific.

(Pat Sajak) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at October 9, 2004

Poem

My greatest dream is to be able to understand
all the animals, just like Doctor Doolittle.
But first I'll have to figure out a good
way to tune out the chickens and cows who'd
be constantly begging me not to eat them.

(Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at October 7, 2004

Poem

I'm all for increased airport security,
and I'm sure there are reasons for
each of the recently added measures.
Still, I've got no clue what that German
shepherd was supposedly detecting by bouncing
up and down while grappling my leg.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at October 6, 2004

Poem

If those Davy Crockett coonskin caps
ever come back in style I'm a genius.
If they don't, I'm just another guy
with a garage full of carcasses.

(Curtis Stoddard) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at September 30, 2004

Poem

Some days when I look out my window, the sheer
boundless beauty of nature amazes me. Her
rolling hills, her scenic valleys and her
gently undulating grasslands fill me with
awe and pleasure. On other days, though, my
does-yoga-in-the-nude neighbor has her shades down.

(Brad Wilkerson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at September 14, 2004

Poem

Sure, companies say they're sensitive to
their employees' cultural heritages, but
show up on casual Friday wearing a necklace
made from the ears of your vanquished
enemies and all hell breaks loose.

(Brad Wilkerson) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at September 10, 2004

Poem

It was one thing when the diner started
serving "freedom" fries, but with the debut
of "without-us-your-country-would-be" toast,
I think things have gotten out of hand.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at September 6, 2004

Poem

I went off my multiple personality disorder
meds when it occurred to me that multiple
personalities meant multiple orgasms, too.
Now all of me are saying, "Bring it on, baby!"

(Vicki Stanfield) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at August 31, 2004

Poem

It's sobering to think there was
a time in this country when women
couldn't vote. I mean, how hard is
it to vote, for crying out loud?!

(The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at August 17, 2004
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