This is some of Brad's favorite poetry. We'd like to thank Ruminate.com for giving us permission to continue publishing a lot of the brilliant poetry found here.

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Poem

Wouldn't it be great if hookers accepted
credit cards, just like gas stations?
That way, if you were in a hurry you could
use the convenient pay-at-the-pimp feature.

(Kim Moser) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at August 10, 2007

Poem

It isn't that I hate having to hear about
how hard it was for my grandparents "back
in the old country," it's that I hate having
to hear about their sex life in general.

(Dustin Moskowitz) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at August 5, 2007

Poem

Women constantly chide men about
their lack of commitment, but when
she swears she'll never speak to me
again, it barely last three days!

(Michael Cunningham) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 28, 2007

Poem

Remember, there's no "I" in "TEAM" --
but there *is* an "EAT ME" if
you're willing to use the "E" twice.

(Lewis Shiner) @ruminate.com

rafene
Posted by Ron's Dentist at July 25, 2007

Poem

When I meet God, I'm gonna ask him one question:
Why did you make me so unattractive, yet so horny?

(Lindsay Acord) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 22, 2007

Poem

After being caught relieving myself behind the mall
I've been told that I'll be tried by a jury of my pee-ers.

(Jerry L. Embry) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 16, 2007

Poem

The whole gay marriage thing is pretty stupid.
Why would anyone ever want to get married
to someone who isn't even pregnant?

(Anthony Myers) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 11, 2007

Poem

Considering that I live in the most technologically
advanced country in the world, it's eerie how many
women I meet who have disconnected phone numbers.

(Greg Muchnik) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 6, 2007

Poem

One morning my wife said, "I had the weirdest dream.
I dreamed I was helping Halle Berry have a baby."
"What a coincidence," I said. "I dreamed I
was helping Halle Berry have a baby, too!"
Then my wife got all tweaked.
Talk about a double standard!

(Ken Foster) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at July 1, 2007

Poem

I had an embarrassing incident at the gym this
past weekend. I was caught square in the middle
of an argument between the people who call me the
Space Cowboy and the people who call me Maurice.

(John Crocker) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 24, 2007

Poem

Don't bother trying to join the Bureau of
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. It turns
out they're apparently against all three.

(Wiley) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 19, 2007

Poem

I tried to tell myself that getting fired was
just a part of my personal and professional
journey, and not at all emasculating.
Until, that is, they mentioned the words
"severance" and "package" in the same sentence.

(David Weinraub) @ruminate.com

Posted by Bittle at June 14, 2007
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