November 09, 2011

Q: Does Ron's mustache make him more likely to commit crimes?

Mustache Crime

A: Short answer: No. Short answer with more letters: Maybe. Look, Ron's mustache is not captured by this simplistic graphic. Ron's mustache is unique to itself. It is an entity. It cannot be quantified.

We know Ron has the capacity to love and drink beer and want to change the world for the better. But we are also aware of Ron's many foibles and propensity to lash out in anger.

This chart is more for the casual mustache person. A man -- or perhaps an Eastern European woman -- can gauge his potential tendency to do good or evil. We dare not predict Ron's future actions. Even his inner circle won't go out on a limb like that. Ron is who Ron is. His mustache makes him stronger...more powerful. With great power comes great responsibility. With Ron's mustache comes great leadership.

Posted by Bittle at 10:54 AM