June 15, 2002
Pine Mountain, Georgia: June 15, 2002
Hanson singer, keyboardist and middle child, Taylor married longtime sweetheart Natalie Anne Bryant in a small, private ceremony in Georgia on June 8th.
"Our wedding was exactly how we envisioned it, romantic and intimate, and surrounded by our families and friends," the nineteen-year-old Hanson said. "Natalie and I are looking forward for to our life together."
David Garza provided the musical entertainment for the wedding reception. Former Ronatarian presidential candidate Ron was the "keynote speaker" -- as the wedding program described his participation. Asked about his specific role in the wedding ceremony, Ron scoffed at the ambiguity of his title. When told he had some caviar on his mustache, he stormed out of sight and refused further comment.
Taylor and his brothers were part of the successful "Ron's Mustache" ad campaign during Ron's failed presidential bid in 2000. A friendship was forged and the four have been nearly inseparable for the past two years.
Ron has labeled himself as the "Fifth Hanson;" although there are only three brothers in the musical group.
As for Hanson, the band: Taylor, Isaac, and Zac are finishing up work on their follow-up to 2000's "This Time Around," expected out early next year.
Posted by Webmaster at 10:56 PM
June 10, 2002
Czech It Out
Prague, Czech Republic: June 10, 2002
Czech voters are having to make some hard election choices -- should they support the party offering free alcohol or the one using topless women in its campaign?
American Ronatarian Ron says, "Why not both?"
With the Christian Democrats handing out free shots of plum brandy in the Moravian town of Valasske Mezirici during a weekend election rally, the Communist party had to quickly change its strategy for a meeting in the same town square.
Soon the party had five topless women handing out campaign literature, forcing people to decide between a free shot and a free peek.
"This is something completely new. And it's nice," the daily Pravo quoted one eyewitness as saying. The paper did not say which party the man would vote for.
Ron has openly endorsed the powers of alcohol -- his political party was founded on a bar crawl -- and enjoys bare-breasted women. "Sometimes, Europeans see things so much more clearly than we do here in the States.
Our minds get very clouded in the U.S. The Czechs are obviously onto something. I hope I can study their tactics and utilize a similar strategy in my next run at the presidency."
The centrist Christian Democrats have teamed up with the center-right Freedom Union to form the Coalition in the June 14-15 general election. They are currently polling at around 15 percent.
The communists are slightly ahead of the Coalition in the polls, running at around 18 percent.
The Ronatarians remain hopelessly off the radar in unofficial polling.
Posted by Webmaster at 09:58 PM
June 05, 2002
Bad Hair Day
Jersey City, New Jersey: June 5, 2002
A Northern New Jersey man lost his case for compensation against a hair salon which he claimed made him look like Osama bin Laden when he wanted an afro hairstyle like the former TV actor Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady) used to sport on "The Brady Bunch."
After the judgment was handed down, he refused to leave the Small Claims Court and had to be taken away by an ambulance following a standoff of more than an hour with court staff, the New Jersey Spew reported on Thursday.
Ronatarian Party leader Ron complained his hair was seriously damaged by two perms he had done at the New Idol Hair Salon last July and August.
"Do you mean you did not get the Barry Williams look after the perm?" judge Paul Cook asked Ron during the Wednesday hearing.
"Not just that. It was like a broom. Every hair struck out and it looked like an open umbrella which could not be shut. It was horrible. I looked like Osama bin Laden," Ron replied.
Judge Cook dismissed Ron's claim for $6,410 in compensation as he had offered no evidence to prove his hair had been damaged. "You've only shown the court that the hairstyle did not look good," he said. "Maybe you had terrible hair before this alleged incident occurred."
But Ron said that Cook was not sympathetic to his claim.
"He's f*cking bald! Of course he would not know the pain of having damaged hair," Ron fretted, sitting on the floor of the courtroom in protest against the judgment.
Posted by Ron at 11:14 PM