December 24, 2009

Poem

Ron is Home and I Think He's Drunk

Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;

Ron is home and I think he's drunk.

He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't even think
He’s shaved in two weeks,

Ron is home and boy is he drunk.

He spent most of Brad's money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest
And lost it at the track.

Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
Ron is home and I think he's...
Ron is home and boy is he...

Ron is home and he's really drunk!

Posted by Bittle at 08:39 AM

December 16, 2009

The Daily Show with Ron Stewart

"Ron" Stewart and "Ron" Hodgeman discuss America faking its own death during the December 15, 2009 broadcast of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central). Notice how they both sport mustaches while calling themselves "Ron" -- an obvious homage to Ron's fervent political movement.

Ronatarianism has clawed its way into the forefront American society. Ron is here to stay. Deal with it, bitches!

Posted by Bittle at 08:46 AM

December 13, 2009

Poem

Happiness is a tired cellmate.

(Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 11:08 PM

December 02, 2009

Humunga Stache

December 2, 2009:

While Ron's great influence on humanity is well documented and wholly praised, a worldly philosopher might inquire: "What is Ron's influence in the animal kingdom?"

Great question.

It has long been circulated that "a dog is a man's best friend." As Ron is revered by men everywhere and many men are, in turn, loved by a dog, by the transitive property of friendship: Several dogs worship Ron.

But how can we prove that these dogs truly love Ron? Canines cannot verbalize their love of Ron nor can those dogs geographically separated from Ron show their affections by actions.

Now there is a way: Humunga Stache. This Rontastic product allows for your canine companion to demonstrate his love of Ron at home, at the Bark Park, or even while relieving himself on a neighbor's lawn. It is the must-have item for the dog who cares about political change as prescribed by Ron.

Plus, it looks great! What dog -- and dog owner -- wouldn't proudly strut about at the end of a leash with a Humungastache in his mouth?!

Remember that by sporting a mustache or Humungastache, you are telling the world that you love Ron.

...And if loving Ron is wrong, I don't want to be right.

- Bittle

Posted by Bittle at 09:47 AM