Humunga Stache

December 2, 2009:

While Ron's great influence on humanity is well documented and wholly praised, a worldly philosopher might inquire: "What is Ron's influence in the animal kingdom?"

Great question.

It has long been circulated that "a dog is a man's best friend." As Ron is revered by men everywhere and many men are, in turn, loved by a dog, by the transitive property of friendship: Several dogs worship Ron.

But how can we prove that these dogs truly love Ron? Canines cannot verbalize their love of Ron nor can those dogs geographically separated from Ron show their affections by actions.

Now there is a way: Humunga Stache. This Rontastic product allows for your canine companion to demonstrate his love of Ron at home, at the Bark Park, or even while relieving himself on a neighbor's lawn. It is the must-have item for the dog who cares about political change as prescribed by Ron.

Plus, it looks great! What dog -- and dog owner -- wouldn't proudly strut about at the end of a leash with a Humungastache in his mouth?!

Remember that by sporting a mustache or Humungastache, you are telling the world that you love Ron.

...And if loving Ron is wrong, I don't want to be right.

- Bittle

Posted by Bittle at December 2, 2009 09:47 AM