July 23, 2012

Poem

Some people have preconceived ideas about
ex-con addict/alcoholics with no job, but
let me tell you: It also has its dark side.

(Jerry L. Embry) @ruminate.com

Posted by Ron's Dentist at 10:33 PM

July 21, 2012

Goat Man

Salt Lake City, Utah, July 20, 2012:

A man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah has wildlife officials worried he could be in danger as hunting season approaches.

A.J. Douglass of the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources said Friday the person is doing nothing illegal, but he worries the so-called "goat man" is unaware of the dangers.

"My very first concern is the person doesn't understand the risks," Douglass said. "Who's to say what could happen."

Douglass said a man hiking Sunday along Ben Lomond peak in the mountains above Ogden, about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City, spotted the person dressed like a goat among a herd of real goats. The person -- identified as New Jersey native Ron -- provided some blurry photographs to Douglass, who said they did not appear to have been altered.

Wildlife officials now just want to talk to the man so that he is aware of the dangers. There's no telling what his intentions are, Douglass said, but it is believed he could just be an extreme wildlife enthusiast.

"People do some pretty out there things in the name of enjoying wildlife. But I've never had a report like this," Douglass said. "There's a saying we have among biologists: You don't go far enough, you don't get the data. You go too far, you don't go home. The same is true with some wildlife enthusiasts."

Douglass said 60 permits will be issued for goat hunting season in that area, which begins in September. He worries the goat man might be accidentally shot or could be attacked by a real goat.

"They may get agitated. They're territorial. They are, after all, wild animals," he said. "This person puts on a goat suit, he changes the game. But as long as he accepts responsibility, it's not illegal."

Douglass said wildlife officials received an anonymous call Thursday from an "agitated man" after the sighting was reported in local media. The caller simply said, "Leave goat man alone. He's done nothing wrong.'"

"I want people to enjoy Utah's wildlife. We live in a really neat place. We have wildlife all around us,"
Douglass said. "We just want people to be safe."

Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron spotted the goat man Sunday during a hike. Ron and his political sidekick Brad are in Utah on a pensive mission to decide whether or not to run in the 2012 presidential election. The duo has run in the past three national elections, barely causing a ripple in the electorate.

Ron -- hiking alone that day -- said he came across the herd, but noticed something odd about one goat that was trailing behind the rest.

"I thought maybe it was injured or had recently been [expletive] in the [expletive] by another goat," Ron said Friday. "It just looked odd."

He said he pulled out binoculars to get a closer look at the herd about 200 yards away and was shocked. The man appeared to be acting like a goat while wearing the crudely made costume, which had fake horns and a cloth mask with cut-out eye holes, Ron said.

"I thought, 'What the [expletive] is this crazy [expletive] doing?'" Ron said. "He was actually on his hands and knees. He was climbing over rocks and bushes and pretty rough terrain on a steep hillside."

Ron said the man occasionally pulled up his mask, apparently trying to navigate the rocky terrain. The man then appeared to spot Ron.

"He just stopped in his tracks and froze," he said. "I couldn't get a clear look at his face, but that [expletive] was freaked out, man."

Ron moved down the mountain and hid behind a tree, then began snapping photographs.

The goat man then put his mask back on, Ron said, got back down on his hands and knees and scurried to catch up with the herd.

"We were the only ones around for miles," Ron said. "It was real creepy."

When Ron returned to his hotel to share the strange sighting with his pal, the oft-misunderstood Brad was nowhere to be found.

"Figures he'd miss all the excitement," said Ron. "Where the [expletive] is that guy, anyway? He said he was going to take it easy today and just do some shopping around town. He usually likes to frequent roller rinks, crepe restaurants, and costume shops…Oh, [expletive]!"

As of the printing of this article, Brad had yet to be located, but several books on caprine habits were discovered in his hotel room along with a receipt from Mr. Perrin's Costume Emporium.

Posted by Bittle at 09:28 AM